Doc Stevens

Tondeleo: I am not very familiar with the American church scene. In the UK, we have primarily Church of England, and then some of the non conformist churches, and perhaps some others that I am not acquainted with and to be quite honest, I have never been tempted to go to.

I have read about churches that are known as "Seeker Friendly" churches, but had never been to one. A seeker friendly church is, as I understand it, a church that is geared towards people who don't go to church, and it gives them religion in baby steps, and the programme is based on fun, feeling good, being pleasant, and never making anyone feel uncomfortable - about anything.

In the States, I have met many people who are church goers, and a bloke that I met in a piano bar invited me to attend his church on Sunday morning. I am not used to meeting people in bars who have had a bit too much to drink and who also are evangelical Christians. I commented on this to him, and he said that Jesus drank wine, so he reckoned that he was allowed to have a few pints as well. His girlfriend Chrissie giggled that only self righteous people condemn people for having a few drinks on a Saturday night.

Actually, I wasn't condemning, I was enquiring. I am not certain of all the American standards of piety, and after we talked a bit, I agreed to meet him and Chrissie at their church on Sunday. I have not been to many churches.

On Sunday, I pulled into the car park which was packed with cars. I made my way into the building where my new friend and his girlfriend were waiting for me at the Welcome Center. They introduced me to the smiling couple who were working at the Welcome Center.

They gave me a Welcome Packet which contained a form for me to fill out, with a long listing of areas of interests and hobbies for me to note my level of interest in. There were several full colour tri folds and brochures telling about the many programmes of the church and the various "community groups" and "relationship building" activities that I could be a part of. It was quite a lot, for a church, and many of them seemed to have nothing to do with religion or spirituality. Also in the Welcome Packet was a biro with the church's name imprinted on it and a coupon for a free cup of Starbucks coffee and a free chicken sandwich at a local eatery.

My new friend Ron, and Chrissie, led me to the refreshments table where there was an assortment of bagels, pastries and fruit, as well as bottled water, coffee and tea (well, tea bags that could be dipped in the hot water from the dispenser). I went for a bottled water and a bagel. I tried to eat it before going into the main auditorium, but Ron and Chrissie assured me that at this church, we actually eat in the auditorium part, during the service. Looking around, I saw some of the other people I had seen at the piano bar and at the bar of the Holiday Inn where I have stayed when in town.

The service began with a rock band singing religiously themed 80's style power ballads. Two of the band members I recognized from a local club I had been to, and pointed it out to Ron. He said that these guys did indeed play in some of the local bars and clubs, that the Lord didn't mind.

I was remembering some of the songs they had been singing when I heard them at the bar. I remembered the cups of Budweiser that were sitting on their amps, and I began to call to mind some of the songs they had been singing, which I would not think that a spiritually minded person would sing. Some of the lyrics were quite explicit.

I must confess, I felt that it was out of place for someone to be singing on a Saturday in a bar, and singing about sex, imbibing in several lagers, and using mild profanity, and then to be singing on Sunday morning about having his whole heart, mind soul and strength belonging to Jesus. I kept my confusion to myself. After all, there were several hundred people here, all singing along with the band and having a good time.

After a couple of power ballads, we were finished our food, so it was time to sing along with a PowerPoint presentation, that had intense graphics and the words projected on two giant screens on the wall. It was not too bad. I quietly sang along. Ron, Chrissie and the others were clapping and having a bit of a time at it. He kept asking if I was having fun.

There was a short skit about how we should not judge people, and then the reverend was introduced. He was a round faced balding bloke about 45, I guess. He wasn't dressed like a minister. He was dressed more like he was ready to go to a theme park or the zoo. He had on a loud American tourist type shirt, and short trousers, and sandals. In my mind, it seemed as though speaking for God was not a very important occasion, which to him it may not be.

He spoke for perhaps 15 minutes, about how God wants everyone to get along well, and to never judge anyone, because we don't know where they are on their journey. He let us know that it was important to invite people to come to church, and to build relationships with them, so they could have a good life. His presentation could hardly be called "preaching." It was cool, low key, manuscripted and was very calmly delivered. He definitely did not break a sweat.

Projected on the screens were various Bible verses that were from different versions of the Bible. The initials LNT, TEV, NIV, and the words The Message were noted after different verses. I asked Ron about this and he said it was so we didn't have to learn the Bible ourselves, and that the Pastor picked the easiest to understand versions of the Bible for us. I looked around and nearly no one carried a Bible. The Pastor did not seem to have a Bible handy, either.

At the end, the "Praise Band" played another power ballad and a girl singer sang about how much she loved the Lord. Then we were let out. Ron and Chrissie were tremendously excited about my opinion of their church. It was very important to them that I had fun and enjoyed it. I have never thought about measuring a church by its' "fun quotient." That seems to be an American seeker friendly idea.

I told them it was ok, and was pleasant, but that maybe I was expecting church to be more like church, you know, with bibles, and preaching, and the minister to be in a robe or suit or something that would indicate that his job and message were to be taken seriously. Ron said that I was "old school," and it didn't work like that nowadays, at least not in the States.

I told Ron and his friends that I must be going, and he said he see me at the piano bar, or another bar that had opened up that I might enjoy. I said my goodbyes, and got in my rental car and drove to where my assignment was.

"Tondy - fruit trees is smaller than nut trees. It's so you can reach up and get the fruit. A fruit tree will FEED you. But nut trees is bigger, and all they do is drop nuts on the ground."

I began to think about Doc and Marilyn and the things they said about church. The churches they go to are smaller, but the people seem to be 100% sold out to their Christianity and the Reverend dresses in a suit, because he says his job is the most important one in the world: representing His Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He preaches from a Bible and the people mostly have their own Bibles and look up the verses that the Reverend is speaking from. And when I say he preaches, I mean that he PREACHES! He is bringing his sermon with every cell in his mind, mouth and body!

The people in these smaller churches are very clear that they no longer go to bars or clubs, and they talk about how the Lord "delivered" them from drugs and alcohol and that "worldly lifestyle." Even though sometimes they can be a bit hokey, I enjoy the simplicity and genuineness of the rural peoples' faith.

Then I remembered something that Doc said about big churches and little ones. One time he walked me to the edge of the woods where they live, and pointed to an apple tree and then to a walnut tree. He said, "Tondy - fruit trees is smaller than nut trees. It's so you can reach up and get the fruit. A fruit tree will FEED you. But nut trees is bigger, and all they do is drop nuts on the ground. A church might be small and have a lot of fruit. One of them big churches MIGHT just have a lot of nuts. So, big don't really mean nothing, Tondy. What means something is if the Lord is there and if the people and the preacher loves the Lord and preaches the Gospel. Then the Lord'll give them fruit."

I didn't understand what he meant at the time, but as I drove down I-95 South through Virginia, I think I began to understand a bit of what he was talking about. Maybe.

Tondeleo: Back in the Spring, when I was spending a Saturday with Doc and Marilyn, we went to Alexandria, VA, just outside of Washington, DC, where they did some street performing in the late afternoon. They like to play in Old Town Alexandria because there is a lot of foot traffic, the crowds are appreciative and the police are friendly, and will let them at least finish whatever song they are singing before telling them to move on.

We went from Old Town to Crystal City, which is between Alexandria and Arlington. They set up at the bank which had closed for the day, on the corner of South Eads Street and 23rd Street. As usual, they drew a crowd, and some of the people were dancing and clapping. Doc and Marilyn were in their usual upbeat and high energy mode and people were tossing money into the collection box.

When Doc looked up the block and saw a Police car making its rounds, he announced that they were going to have an intermission, and would be playing again after a break.

As the crowd of locals and tourists dispersed, there was a young Sikh man who stayed behind, probably out of curiosity, having seen maybe his first live, genuine American redneck. He approached Doc and the two began talking. I could tell initially that Doc was particularly wary of the Sikh, and I decided to get Marilyn and take a walking tour of 23rd Street, to look at the maybe 20 small restaurants that line it on either side. I could not bear to think how the conversation between the turbaned Sikh and Doc might go.

After Marilyn and I came back, maybe twenty minutes later, Doc was standing at the bank waiting with his guitar and mini amp. He looked like he had just had an epiphany. I figured this would be a good one, so I pulled out my recording stick. Here is how it went:

Doc: Hey, Tondy and Marilyn - Didja see the towelhead I was talking to? That dude with the turbine ["turban"] on his head?

We noted that we had, so Doc continued:

Doc: When I first saw him hangin' around after we sang, I figured he was a terrorist, one of them Towel a Bands [Doc's term for Taliband]. I seen 'em on TV but ain't never seen one close up. I was ready for him if he tried anything.

But guess what Marilyn? He weren't no Towel a Band. I asked him and he said he weren't and then I asked him how I knew that he weren't one and was just lyin' about it. He told me he weren't a Towel a Band and he came from the wrong part of the world to be one. He told me he weren't no Al Qaida neither, in case I was wondering.

I hadn't thought of Al Qaeda whatever they are, but I told him that if he weren't no Towel a Band, then he must be a fortune teller.

Tondy, he said he ain't no fortune teller, neither. I asked, what ARE you then, and he said he was a Seek [Sikh]. I asked what he was seekin' and he said it was his religion. I let him know that if he would seek the good Lord, he would find him. No doubt.

Marilyn: That's GOOD, Uncle Doc! You was WITnessin' to him!

["Witnessing" means to tell someone about being "born again" in America - Tondeleo]

Doc: Well, I might've been. But I weren't tryin.' That Seek said he liked our music and that is why he stayed! He said he loves American blues and roots music. They ain't got it in his country, but he loves it and would like to learn how to sing it! In fact, he said his NAME is SING! ["Singh," a common name among Sikhs - Tondeleo].

Once I found out he weren't no terrorist, I closed up the knife in my pocket, and told him I was ready for him but now I wasn't gonna cut him. He said in his religion, Tondy, they GOT to carry a knife! GOT to! It's part of their religion! I told him it's a part of my religion, too.

He was a good old boy, Tondy. Just regular like me an' Marilyn. He said whenever I see someone with one of those turbines on his head, to know that it ain't no terrorist, just a Seek. Ain't that somethin? Seeks ain't nothin' like terrorists, Tondy. They are more like us. But they is still seekin. An' I got a picture of him with Marilyn's phone.

Tondeleo: In the light of the worldwide economic crisis, I thought it would be particularly fitting to post this conversation I had with Doc a few months ago about greed, money, and contentment.

As you know, Doc doesn't have a lot of money or material possessions, but he is content, and works hard enough at enough things that he and Marilyn and the dogs eat well.

I was asking Doc about the why America seems to have sudden;y plummeted from it's position as world leader to a confused giant that has somehow lost its way. I thought his answers were worth posting.

Doc: Tondy, I'll tell ya. It's about payin' the cost to be the boss. You gotta pay the cost to be the boss. America used to be a country full of immigrants. In my granddaddy's day, they al was pretty much immigrants, where he lived. In they's houses, they spoke the language of where they'd come from. At home, you might hear Italian, Pollock, German or whatever. They was all first generation immigrants.

But they's kids was American and called themselves American. Didn't call themselves half American like they do now. You can take some office boy what ain't never been outta the US and his parents aint, and his grandparents aint, and he calls hisself a Irish-American. No, he's American.

Same with black folks. They ain't all African American. Some is from the islands, like Jamaica or Saint Lucy. They is also white folks what is African, 'cause I met a white woman from South Africa, and she said she was African, and I said, Whoa sister! You are the wrong color but she said she was South African.

But what made America great, Tondy, was them first generation folks. Immigrants. They left everything they had in they's own countries and spent all they had to come here, to start a new life. They paid the price.

But that second and third generation, they is the ones that lose that sense of bein' hungry and havin' a dream to pull them along. A ot of them is spoilt, and ain't got no work ethic. Some of 'em won't even work. But they's parents and grandparents worked day and night and sacrificed so they could live the American dream. But the grandkids just ain't got that drive.

They ain't got the drive, they ain't got the work ethic, but they want everything that money can buy and they want it NOW. N-O-W, now. And if they cain't get it, they feel like they is being held back and mistreated. That is what has happened to America, Tondy.

These folks is so indulged, they feel empty if there is something out there that they haven't been able to buy yet, or if they find out about some place they ain't been to yet, and then they feel like they is bein' held back. They gotta have EVERYTHING they want and not ever be told the word, "no."

That's why most people in America is so in debt. They want everything right now, when they aint got the money for it, so they makes payments, and they spend more than they make every month.

Like most people gots credit cards. And they can't pay it off every month because they spend more than they make. They can't afford how they is livin.' And they think they gotta have all that stuff. They don't.

That is the kind of people what got in control of our country, and the banks and car companies, and they think they have to have everything and have it all right now. And they don't care who they hurt or have to rip off, and that is how they grabbed millions of dollars for themselves and ran the common people into the ground.

As for me, I think you are rich if you don't need anything. Like I seen a rich dude at the mall up to Waldorf. Me an' him got to talkin' an' I asked him what he was buyin.' He coulda bought half that mall if he wanted. Know what he said? He said he wasn't buyin' nothin. He already had enough of everything. Now, that is rich.

Bein' rich is about having enough that you don't need everything. I got a pickup truck an' my old panel truck. I ain't need a new car. Ain't even tempted. I like where I live, and I like my guitars and my tools and my dogs and my friends and Marilyn. I ain't needin' anyting else. So I am a rich man, Tondy. I ain't needin' nothin'.

Here's a story that my cousin down in Gate City told me.

A rich man dies and wants to take along at least one bag of money with him. It's all he has. He ain't never been very religious - ain't never helped nobody neither. He just made money all his life. The angel of death, he didn't care if the man brought along a bag of money.

So the man stands before the throne of God, up in Heaven, and Jesus asks, What's that? The man said, "it's my money, it's all I have."

Jesus says, to the angel: "Let me see it, bring it here." Jesus takes that bag of money and tries to sit on it. He says, This is too lumpy to be a good cushion."

So Jesus pulls it out from under himself and tosses it on the floor and puts his feet on it. He says, "It's too small to be a good footstool… and it never gets cold up here, so it is no good to burn it for heat."

So he tells the angel to give it back to the man and tell him he to carry it around. It's all he's got.

Tondy, that's the way a lot of people is. That story ain't in the BIble, but it's a good one.

Tondeleo: My friend Clive in Hemel Hempstead has been vegan for the past few years and has finally convinced me to cut out all meat eating. Clive says, "Don't eat anything that had a face." That's his rule. He may go for the occasional clam or oyster, I don't know, but that is his rule. If it had a face, he will not eat it.

I like me fish n' chips, so to ask me to cut out all meat is a big deal. I finally have been without meat for perhaps four weeks, and I think I feel better for it. I still eat mountains of chips, however. The part of Clive's argument that persuaded me to go vegetarian is the violence involved. He asked me how I could in good conscience eat something that had to die so I could live. It hardly seems fair that a cow should have to die so that I could live, does it? Why should a fish die, just so I could have an order of fish n' chips?

I came to peace with my decision, and decided to present Doc Stevens and Marilyn with the idea of becoming vegetarians or even vegans. Here is how that conversation went:

Tondeleo: Doc, since the last time we got together, I've gone vegetarian! That means I don't eat meat anymore! I only eat vegetables. It is less violent, and I feel that it is wrong for something else to have to die so that I could live. I think that you and Marilyn ought to consider it.

Doc: So WHY ain't you eatin' meat? You don't want nothin' to DIE?

Tondeleo: That's pretty much it, Doc. The less death on the earth, the better. So I am doing my part to save life on earth. It's a noble thing, really...

Doc: Well, it's noble if you don't think about it, and if you ain't never done no farmin'. For somethin' to die so somethin' else can live is a part of nature. A ant eats a termite to live. A lizard eats the ant. A bird eats the lizard and a cat eats the bird. An' the Chinese carry out might eat the cat. That's how it's set up, Tondy. Somethin' dies so somethin' else can live. Country folks all know that. We LIVE that. But you can do what you like.

Tondeleo: Well, I don't like the idea of taking a life so I can live.

Doc: I unnerstan, Tondy. Takin' a life so you can live sounds bad. But even the Lord gave his life so we could live. That's the way it is. It takes life to give life.

But eatin' just veggies don't mean you ain't killin' nothin' when you eat. When I plow a field to plant vegetables, more things die than if I shot a cow for you to eat. In even one acre of ground, when it gets plowed, hundreds of bugs die. Three of four snakes'll die. Mouse nests with baby mice will be plowed under. It might kill a dozen field mice. A couple of turtles'll get plowed under. You're killin' maybe a hundred things just to plant a acre of food. And they ain't always fast or easy deaths. Some of it is pretty slow.

"But eatin' just veggies don't mean you ain't killin' nothin' when you eat. When I plow a field to plant vegetables, more things die than if I shot a cow for you to eat."

When you eat a cow, it is only one death. Cows don't step on snakes and turtles and mice and all that. Most everything gets outta their way. When a cow is butchered, it's pretty quick, too. I ain't changin' your mind, just fillin' out your information.

Like I ain't eat much commercial raised beef cause it's full of hormones and chemicals and they feed them cows corn. Cows ain't supposed to eat corn and cain't really digest it. Feedin'a cow a diet of corn'll kill it in less than a year. It makes acid and they die of acidosis if they ain't butchered afore they die of it. A cow is made to eat grass. I eat local grown cows. I eat more deer. Deer ain't full of hormones and chemicals. And it's free.

You gotta watch out for farm raised fish, too, Tondy. They put growth chemicals in their food to make 'em grow quicker. You ain't wantin' that. neither. Eat fresh fish. Or you can eat veggies like you're doin'.

Guess what, though Tondy? Pickin' out what kinds of food you will and won't eat is a luxury. Most of us is happy just to eat anything. I ain't too big on Ramen noodles but I eat 'em if that's all we got.My favorite food is veinson and a side of greens and maybe a potato. But I cain't always get what I want. So I settle for eatin' what the good Lord provides.

Now if you got the money to buy just what you want, then I say more power to ya. It ain't hurt nobody an' it makes you happy. Go for it.

Tondeleo: So what are you saying, Doc? Are you actually SUPPORTING me be a vegetarian? I can't believe that!

Doc: I'm just sayin' a man can eat what he wants to eat. If you like veggies, eat 'em. If you like meat, eat it, but be careful where it comes from. But don't think that eatin' veggies saves more life than eatin' meat. It don't. You just gotta know that for one thing to live, somethin' else is gonna have to die. It's sad, but that's life.

I ain't care what you eat, just don't make it a issue for everybody else. Don't come off soundin' like you're better an' smarter than everybody else cause you is a vegetarian now. You eat what you eat, an' me an' Marilyn eat what we eat. Sometimes it'll be the same thing. Tonight we're havin' greens and pinto beans for supper. That's what we're havin' because that's what we got. Ain't makin' no statements, just makin' supper.

Tondeleo: Doc and Marilyn have been trying for more than a year to get me to eat with them at a particular "sit down" restaurant down in Saint Mary's County, MD. For once my schedule allowed me the opportunity to have tea with him and Marilyn. It was more than an hour from Nanjemoy at a Fifties themed restaurant called Bert's 50's Diner. http://www.berts50sdiner.com . This is Doc's absolute favourite place to eat when he has the money and the time to go in for a sit down meal. He has been trying to get me to go with him and Marilyn for months. The picture of Bert's 50's Diner below was taken by Ron Patterson.

When we arrived, I could see why Doc is so in awe of it. It is a very American place, with a a real American 50's hot rod mounted on the roof, complete with a flamed paint job. Doc says the car is a 1950 Mercury, and that the right rear quarter panel of the car is wrecked making it totaled (a write off) several years ago. Bert, the owner of Bert's 50's Diner is a car lover. He bought it and had it mounted on the roof of his Diner as an attention getter.

Doc says that he could have fixed that car, because back at the time it happened, one of his fellow Nanjemoy residents, a man called Streamliner Wedding had a Mercury just like it parked in the woods beside the breaker's yard (junkyard) he used to operate there in Nanjemoy. Doc says he could have bought the whole car for maybe 300 dollars back then. It has since been crushed and Streamliner is dead, too.

When we got to Bert's, there was a a small queue of people waiting for an available table, but we only waited five minutes or so. When our server escorted us to the table, Doc was in his glory, pointing out all the automobile paraphernalia on the walls: Old registration plates, automobile adverts, and magazine covers from the 1950's. There were also a lot of 50's music items on the walls - photos of Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe, James Dean and other 50's icons.

The menu looked as though it was from the 1950's as well. Doc helped me order a memorable meal. I had (with all apologies to my fellow countrymen) sweet iced tea, which is not bad once you tell your taste buds that this is not tea at all, it is just a syrupy sweet American beverage served American style with plenty of ice. To me it is reminiscent of treacle and water.

Bert's serves huge portions at excellent prices. I wanted to order one of Bert's huge 30" pizza's, but Marilyn said we'd eaten enough pizza the last few weeks and that she didn't want any. I have never seen larger pizza's than the ones at Bert's. Certainly in the U.K., we never have these amounts of food available! Actually, we would find it a bit gauche, but I would never tell that to Doc or Marilyn. To them, having huge amounts of food is nothing less than a fulfillment of their greatest dreams!

I was ready to order smothered steak, but Doc steered me away from it. He said he wasn't sure of eating meat that was smothered, that really you can only trust meat that was shot or killed right, at a slaughterhouse. After thinking about the poor cow being smothered, I was rather put off and ordered Bert's Famous Fish sandwich for $6.25, which included the "fries" [chips]. I managed to get through most of the glass of "sweet tea," which is served American style, at the same time as the meal instead of afterwards as is done in Britain.

Marilyn ordered the All American BLT sandwich with a side order of chips, and of course, iced tea. She had only one free refill of the chilled sweetened tea based beverage.

Doc ordered a Porky Pig Barbecue "submarine" sandwich, which is a sandwich served on a roll that is nearly 12 " long. The meat is pork and the sandwich had cole slaw on it, as well as sliced onions, tomatoes, lettuce, tomato sauce and mayonnaise. This was only $6.25 He also ordered the "full tank" of french fried onion rings, for $3.95. He had two large "free" refills of the sweet iced tea, and finished it all with a loud burp, and considered having ice cream afterwards!

In the States, the drinks are cheaper than in UK, ($2.25 each at Bert's) and that includes as many free refills as you can pour into your body. The portions in the States are easily three times larger than what we get in the UK, and the prices are about half what we pay. So, it is no wonder that Americans, even poor ones tend to be overweight. It is cheap, easy and tasty to become fat in the States. I have put on nearly one stone since coming to the States more frequently this past year!

Also, in the States, for men, it is considered "macho" to be a bit on the portly side. They don't consider themselves "fat" or obese, but rather will refer to themselves as becoming a "good sized boy" or a "pretty fair sized boy," no matter how many decades have passed since the individual WAS a boy.

Our server was polite and friendly, much more chatty than we would generally have in the UK. Marilyn explained that a large part of the friendliness (which I found nearly off-putting) was in order to get a larger "tip" at the end of the meal. Doc liked her and she realised rather early on that he was the one who was going to be paying, so she paid particular attention to him. At the end of the meal, the bill was roughly only $22 for the three of us. Doc pulled out a $20 dollar bill, four one dollar bills and $5 bill. He told her she'd done a good job and that the extra was for her.

I could not comprehend paying a $7 tip on a bill that was approximately only $20. That is nearly 30%! Doc explained, "Tondy, that girl works hard for her money, and they don't even pay minimum wage at restaurants, these people depend on tips. Some people don't leave nothin', or just a couple of dollars.

"I always tip good. You need to be a giver, not a taker. And you don't never go home at night and wish you hadn't tipped so much. But if you tipped cheap, you might go home and feel bad and cain't do nothin' about it. Always give 'em more than they expect, 'cause there is always some tightwad who tries to chisel them outta their money.

"There ain't nothing attractive about a cheap man. Remember that, Tondy. Being a giver is a good thing. Being cheap ain't nothing that no one likes to be around. It's about havin' style. I'm tryin' to help you have style, Tondy. Give more than you have to, and do it with a smile. It'll help other people what's tryin' to pay they's bills an' it'll make you feel better about yourself. A man needs to do all he can to feel good about hisself these days."