Doc Stevens

Tondeleo: One thing that is immediately noticeable about being in the warmer rural areas of the US during the Summer is the amount of insects. I am fair skinned, and they seem to love English blood. (Think, "Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman.") Whenever I am in the US, I have to cover myself with insect repellent, and even then, they feast on me, and I end up being an itchy mound of insects bites and scabs.

I was eating on the porch at Doc and Marilyn's with Big Dave. They were happily playing music and singing. I was scratching like a madman. I was covered in welts from mosquitoes, and gnats and flies were buzzing around my head.

There were several homemade fly strips hanging from the eaves of the porch, and they were covered with flies. Still the flies and mosquitoes were landing on me as though I was a living and breathing fly strip.

Between songs, Marilyn told me how they make their fly strips by cutting a brown paper bag into 2" wide strips, and then soaking it in mixture of sugar and thick treacle (pancake syrup). She said molasses works good, too. She mixes sugar, water and the treacle in a pan and boils it, then puts the strips of brown paper (which she has already fastened the string to, for hanging it up) into the mixture. After it soaks a while, she pulls them out and hangs them from the eaves of the porch and inside, and in Doc's garage.

Noting my lack of knowledge in this field caused Doc and Big Dave to join in and tell me their other solutions for dealing with insects.

Doc: Fly strips is one way to keep bugs away. When we play at barbecues an' pig pickin's or other outdoor parties in the summer or if we is playin' in the streets, mosquitoes, gnats, an' flies can really get on your last nerve. Makes you sing like you's mad rather than like you got the blues or is broken hearted. People ain't like it when you sing like you're mad, and I don't, too.

I ain't never liked coverin' myself with bug spray, but mouthwash works good for keepin' the bugs away. I use the Wal Mart copycat of Listerine 'causin' it's cheaper. We put it in a spray bottle and put a few squirts on us and on the mics. We use it at home the same way. Buy it by the quart up to the General Dollar, if you ain't got a Wal Mart. Use it for mouthwash, bug spray and shampoo if you're runnin' short.

Fly strips ain't the only way to keep bugs away in the house, neither. Marilyn ain't like no fly strips in her bedroom, Tondy. She don't want flies hangin' over her head when she sleeps! She uses them little cloths what you get at the laundry mat for puttin' in the dryer. I think she gets hers at Dollar General or the Wal Mart...

Marilyn: They's called dryer sheets, Tondy. I clothes pin 'em to my curtains so I can have my windows open at night and the bugs'll stay out. My mama used to do that down to Tennessee when I was a little girl.

Mama used them Bounce dryer sheets for keepin' her bedroom smellin' nice, an' to keep bugs out. She hung 'em on the celilin' fan and kept it on the slow speed all the time in the Summer. She put them in her boyfriend's truck to keep it smellin' nice.

Big Dave: Yeah, and if you got a bee sting or spider bite, you can put deodorant on it. That's what I do. Most everyone over here in the USA does that, I reckon. Stops the itching.

Doc: Sometimes you need to stop the itching if you've been bug bit an' then you got to go somewhere an' play an' sing. You can't be up there scratchin'. Deodorant does work good for that.

Doc picked his guitar back up to start playing, Dave started playing, and Marilyn picked up a harp, and looked at me and squinched up her face:

Marilyn: Tondy, you better get inside to the bathroom and use some deodorant on your face and arms! Your head looks like a bowl full of raspberries. You won't be able to get your hat on tomorrow with your head swolled up!

Tondeleo - This is the second part of my talking with Doc about being homeless and living on the streets. He has been in a rented house for a few years now, but the times he was homeless are still very real to him. I asked him to give some information that could help someone who becomes homeless.

Doc: Shoes. Tennis shoes don't work when you're walkin' the streets. A lot of homeless people wear them, but they fall apart, the soles come off, and they wear out real quick. Get leather work boots, either the ones that come up over the ankle or the taller ones. I like the ones that comes up over the ankle. Steel toe is what I always go for. Did then and still do. Leather work boots don't make your feet rot and stink, they protect your toes and they last longer. I get mine at thrift stores for about five or six bucks. Ten bucks for really good ones.

You can get free clothes at the dumpster behind a thrift shop. All of them throw away good clothes what no one bought yet. Clothes, shoes, hats, jeans, t shirts. All for free.

Tondeleo: I never thought of that. Thanks. How about staying clean when you're homeless?

Doc: You gotta stay clean. Staying clean is important and not stinking like crap. You gotta stay clean. I always used rubbin' alcohol and cotton balls. You can do  monkey bath with alcohol and cotton balls. Hit the back of your neck and behind your ears. Most people miss those and have gray necks. Do your face, armpits, privates and feet. Get between your toes real good to keep foot rot off your feet. You can use alcohol to get the smell outta your socks, too. Get the toe area a little wet with alcohol and it will kill the germs and get rid of the stink. Alcohol and cotton balls are cheap. I always carry peroxide - hydrogen peroxide, too. You need it for any cuts or scrapes but you need to use it as a mouth wash and for brushing your teeth in. It kills germs and will foam all up when it is in your mouth, which means you had a lot of germs in your mouth. It is cheap, too. The best way to stay well is to kill the germs in your mouth, where most of them come in. Use peroxide in your mouth in the morning and also before you go to sleep at night. I still do that a lot.

You can also wash up in a gas station bath room or fast food places. They got hot water and also got toilet paper which you need. If you buy a order of fries you're a customer and got a right to the bathroom.

You can't be going around sick, smelly and dirty and expect people to treat you with  respect. They SHOULD, but they won't. Because if YOU don't seem to respect you, how is THEY gonna be able to respect you? They won't.

Tondeleo: Tell me about food. Where do you get food?

Doc: Dumpsters behind fast food places after they close at night. Most of 'em throw out what they ain't sold. You need to be clean, polite and not spooky looking or creepy. What I would do is go in about ten minutes afore closin' time and say I was hungry and ain't had no money, and could I get whatever food was left outta their dumpster when they close? You gotta smile and be friendly. Can't be stinky and dirty. Clean shaved face helps. Mostly you can find at least one person in a fast food joint what will feel sorry for you and help you out. Sometimes they will set it on the ground behind the dumpster for you.

A couple days later you can do the same thing. Don't make it an everyday thing. That is one way. You can check the dumpsters behind grocery stores but do that in the late morning. Mostly that is the best time, because they throw out fruit and veggies, dairy products and meat. But you need to get it before the sun gets hot and makes it rot. By three o'clock to me, it is too late. I don't want to risk getting food poisoning. In the Summer, you got to really be there in the late morning before the heat makes the food rot. In the Winter, it ain't that big a hurry. It's better to go hungry than to get sick.

Sometimes, if you're friendly, clean and show respect, the sales people what come to stock the stores, like the bread man or donut man will give you a box of whatever they are taking out of the store. Offer to help them load their truck, and usually they will give you some donuts or bread or whatever.

Bein' helpful goes a long way. I have got jobs just by bein' helpful and offerin' to clean up the parkin' lot of a body shop or garage and then after doin' a good job, askin' if I can take out the trash and help with anything inside. Mostly, they would let me and then give me a few dollars. But you can't come in there smelling like alcohol, or smellin' dirty or actin' crazy and expect them to let you in. They will think you're just casing them to come back later and steal.

That's another thing, Tondy. If someone trusts you to do a job, like clean up they's parkin' lot, or mow they's grass, don't NEVER STEAL from them! That is lower than a snake, to steal when someone is trusting you and tryin' to help you out. I look at it this way: if it ain't mine, I don't want it. Lessin' it's for sale and then, if I want it, I will try to work for it and get the money and buy it.

There's some churches what can help. Not all of them have food pantries but some do. I found that if you look as clean as possible, and talk as nice as possible, they mostly will help you. Most of them won't give out money, cause they ain't got it, most of them don't have money sittin' around, but they can help with food. Don't never swear around the church people. Be happy, hopeful, and it is good to ask them to remember you in prayer. I have had them pray for me and then I got a job, more than once.

If you got tools or a ring, or a guitar or something, you can pawn it. But they don't give you hardly nothin' for it, and then you got to hustle some money or you'll lose it forever. I have pawned a guitar for just enough money for something else I might need to make some money - like cleanin' supplies to detail cars with for whatever I can charge, usually $25 or $30. But then you gotta get back there in a couple days before you blow your money on a motel room or somethin' else what takes your money but don't give you no return on it.

You can panhandle. But you got to look friendly, an' smile, and be nice. That is a lot of work when you are homeless and hurtin' an' hungry. Smilin' an' bein' nice or a little funny IS a job an' people should pay you for it! You cain't go up to somebody when you're dirty an' needin' a shave, and your eyes are all bloodshot and say, "Give me some money." They'll think you're robbin' 'em and call the cops. Learn to act nice and harmless.

You can sweep parking lots or take out trash. Mow grass. Rake leaves. Clean windows. Clean out people's gutters. Use their ladder.

  Here's one I did: I got $30 for doin' some work. I went to the Pep Boys and bought glass cleaner, paper towels, that car wash in a spray can stuff, some tire spray to make 'em shiny and got some of their sale papers when you walk in the door.

Then I went to office buildings and told people I could detail their car for $20. I would do it right there in the parking lot, so they didn't have to give me the key to the car. I would use the spray wash n' wax, clean they's windows and wheels with the glass cleaner and make the tires shiny black. Takes a half hour. For $20! You can always get two or three of those a day, which'll get you a motel room, some food and more supplies. Once you do one car, they look at it and pay you and then tell the other people workin' there. One time I did five cars in one day at one place! I did that down to Atlanta a few times so I could get money to get 'stablished. Ain't that hard.

If you can play harp [harmonica] you can set a can, or cup or box or hat on the ground and sing and play harp for money...

Tondeleo: How can you sing and play harmonica at the same time...

Doc: You sing a line, and then play a line. Then sing a line an' answer it with the harp. That works good with country or blues songs, which is what I do. And you put on a little show with it. Maybe dance a bit here and there, or something. Not scary or crazy but funny an' happy. Crazy runs people off. Funny brings 'em in. All you need is two or three harps in different keys an' you can sing most any song out there.

That's some ways to get food and keep clean and get some pennies together.

Tondeleo: After hearing from Doc and Marilyn about how to catch rabbits in homemade box traps, and how to make rabbit stew and rabbit burgers, I got curious as to what to they do with the skins. I have some gloves that are lined with rabbit fur, and I was wondering if the fur in my gloves was the by-product of a rural family's home made feast. In my mind I began to recall the various clothing items that I had seen with rabbit fur collars, and other accessories that were made from rabbit fur. I asked Doc and Marilyn about what a person needed to know about skinning rabbits and tanning their hides.

Doc: OK, Tondy. Once you kill the rabbit, you cut off his head and hang him up by his back legs so the blood can all drain out. Then you cut the skin off. You take a sharp knife and cut the skin around the back feet and then cut a line from the inside of the back legs to it's butthole. After that, just pull the skin down like you was pullin' off a sweatshirt from him. Like pullin' it down over his head if he still had one. Pull it off careful and you might need to use the knife to cut the skin loose here and there.

When you pull the skin off, it's inside out, just like your sweatshirt is when you pull it off. Leave it like that and throw it in a bucket of water while you're getting the rest of the meat ready to eat. Or play some music for about a hour. Then go back to the bucket and get the skin out and rinse it off with a hose or in your sink. Make sure you get all the blood off the skin or it'll leave brown stains on the leather that won't come out. Don't use no soap. If you do want to use soap...

Marilyn: I use my shampoo on it to get the blood off, and later I put conditioner on it to make the fur nice and soft. But you gotta rinse all the shampoo off if you use it.

Doc: When you're done getting the blood off, kind of squeeze the skin dry. It is still inside out...

Marilyn: And if you're too busy to finish right then, you can put it in the freezer till later. Get all the water out of them. and put them in a plastic container like what we buy ice cream in at the Wal Mart, that holds three or four skins... If you just throw 'em in the freezer, they get freezer burns and ain't no good.

Doc: When you're done cleanin' them, or if you got 'em outta the freezer and let them thaw out, then you commence to tan them. And you need a couple of drywall buckets...

Marilyn: I use a Soy Sauce bucket from behind the Chinese Restaurant up to Bryans Road where me an' Uncle Doc took you for your birthday. Remember, Tondy? You ate so much you almost puked...

Doc: OK, well could be a drywall bucket or a paint bucket or soy sauce bucket. We use whatever kind of 5 gallon buckets we got. Fill 'em about halfway with water. Then put in your tanning mix. We use a cup of picklin' salt or just rock salt from the hardware store. One cup of that. It's like 6 bucks for a big bag of it, maybe 20 pounds of it. Then add a cup of alum powder. You get that at the farm supply store. Stir it up.

Put your rabbit skins down in the bucket and' use a stick to poke them around and stir them up a little so they get good and wet. Let 'em stay in there for two days, and stir them up a couple times a day.

On the third day, pull 'em outta the water and' squeeze 'em dry an' rinse 'em out good with the hose. Then you scrape off the backsides of the skin to get off any fat or underskin what you can also peel off with your fingers. Start at its rear end and work your way forward. After that, rinse it off again.

Guess what you do now, Tondy? You put 'em in the second bucket you got, which you have mixed up the same solution as in the first one, and soak 'em there for a whole week. And you stir 'em two or three times a day as you remember to do it.

After a week they should be done. Here's how you test. Take a scrap off of one of your skins and boil it in a pot of water for a few minutes. If it's done, it'll stay soft. If it curls all up and gets rubbery, it ain't done. Put it back in the bucket for a couple of days and then it WILL be done. No doubt. It shouldn't change when it gets boiled.

When you're all done, pull 'em out of the bucket squeeze out all the water into the bucket. You can use the rest of the water as weed killer. I do, anyway.

Marilyn: I get out my hair dryer and my shampoo and conditioner. I wash them in shampoo and then put in some conditioner and rinse it out. I use the hair dryer just enough to dry the hair a little bit and brush it real soft with my hairbrush. But you can't get them too hot! Just dry the hair a little bit. Then you take them outside and hang them on a clothesline that's in the shade so they can dry out real slow. It might take a whole day for them to dry, Tondy.

Doc: When they's almost dry, I take 'em down and stretch them in every direction as hard as I can, a little bit at a time, until it gets soft and almost white. You gotta do this while it is still a little bit wet. I rub grease into them. It makes them soft.

That's about it. When you store them, put them in a cardboard or wooden box, not a plastic bag or plastic tub. They need to breath. Put a bar of woman soap, what smells pretty in it. It will keep bugs out and makes the fur smell better.

Marilyn: You can make anything you want outta rabbit fur. There's pillows, hats, vests, mittens, purses, coats, money bags, or whatever you like. I sew some rabbit skins together like a quilt and then just make whatever I want out of them. YOu make 'em into a bigga piece as you can, and then see what you can make outta them.

All you do is use what Mama used to call a whipstitch to hold them together. I got a rabbit coat up to the thrift shop for Christmas last year from my boyfriend, Gavin. He's sweet. Even uncle Doc likes him.

Doc: Yeah. He's ok. Kind of tall, but he's ok. I like him all right. Treats Marilyn good.

Tondeleo: After seeing the rabbit boxes on Doc's property, I became curious as to how to prepare rabbits for eating. When I asked Doc and Marilyn how to cook rabbits, they both stared at me with credulity. They could not imagine that a person would not know how to cook a rabbit!

I explained to them that we DO eat rabbits in England, and that we probably eat more rabbit than the average American. In fact, even in our butcher shops in the cities have dressed out rabbits hanging in their shop windows. It just happens that I personally don't know how to cook rabbit. My mum does, but I am curious as to how Doc and Marilyn prepare rabbits. So, with my dignity intact I was ready to record Doc and Marilyn's suggestions for cooking rabbit.

Doc: Here's one way to cook rabbits, Tondy. You skin the rabbits, and cut off his head and feet. Get rid of his guts - his 'testines, stomach and all that. Take out his lungs, heart, liver and kidneys and set them aside for making gravy with. On the liver there's a greenish part you have to cut off real careful. It has bile in it and you don't want to eat that. You also cut his body in half and pull out his rib cage to use in making the gravy.

Then you cut off his legs. Take his hips and shoulders and cut them in half. Now you got like eight pieces. Get some carrots and onions and cut them up. Put some water in a pot, maybe two cups and boil it and then turn the heat back. Put in the parts that you cut off first, the heart and liver and all that, and let it simmer for a while. Cut up four potatoes and put them in and let them cook, too. Put the carrots in and boil them too.

Go watch some TV for a half hour or play some guitar and sing some songs. That's what me an' Marilyn do. After a half hour, take out a fryin' pan and put in some bacon grease or lard for cookin'. Put in some woostersheer (Worcestershire) sauce and a lot of black pepper. Put in the onions, a little bit of garlic and some milk. Maybe about an inch of milk, if you had it in a coffee mug. That much.

When the onions are cooked, then you put in the rabbit parts and cook them in the same pan, not all the way through, just 'til they are brown. Then, put everything from the pan into the pot where you been cookin' the potatoes and carrots. Keep the heat kinda low. It'll need about an hour.

We get out another pot and boil up some greens in it. Put in greens, it might be mustard greems, turnip greens, spinach or kale, and put in some red pepper and some pork. Mostly we use ham hocks or pigs feet for flavor. Let it boil down for about an hour.

Go play some more music and sing for about a hour. Then get out your bowls and plates and sweet tea. You prob'ly don't know how to make it and' Marilyn can tell you how to do that right.

Marilyn: Me an' Uncle Doc likes rabbit burgers, too. Rabbit ain't got any fat on it like beef does, so it's good for you, Tondy. All we do is grind up the rabbit meat, and sometimes we cut up some bacon and mix in with it because you need some fat to hold it together. Without fat, it calls apart in the pan and all you can do with it is mix in some barbecue sauce and make it like barbecue. We cut up some onions real fine and put in black pepper. We ain't use no salt cause we gotta keep Uncle Doc's blood pressure low. We mix in a raw egg to help hold it together, too.

Then I make it into a ball about the size of a baseball and flat it down to less than a inch thick. Then I fry them up in a pan with some bacon grease and onions. It's better than a hamburger, Tondy. Ask Uncle Doc.

Tondeleo: In my last post, Doc and Big Dave were guzzling "skin fast drinks" (Slimfast) in an effort to get skinny fast. I spoke with Doc on my mobile last night, and he got me up to date on his and Marilyn's activities. I haven't been able to visit them in the States this Summer like I would like to, and have been staying in touch with my mobile, and recording our calls, and Marilyn emails pictures to me from time to time.

Doc: Well, Tondy, me an' Big Dave gave up on that skinfast. We drank about two cases a day of that stuff and it didn't make neither one of us skinny. I done lost maybe 5 pounds, but also I was workin' a lot and it's been hot so I might've just sweated off five pounds (that's less than half stone). Big Dave got tired of drinkin' it and he gave up, too. I think that Skinfast is more made for women.

Well, you know me an' Marilyn went over to Alabama for a week an' had a good time an' met some good people. Their cookin' is pretty good down there an' everywhere you go is Waffle Houses so we ate good. I like a good sit-down restaurant when we is travelin'.

Waffle House has good food pretty reasonable and they got enough different kinds of food that you ain't got to eat no where else. You can eat there mornin' noon and night and it is always pretty good. Matter o' fact, Tondy, you can go to a Waffle House after playin' somewhere an' they will still be open. Ain't nobody rushin' you outta there, neither. Marilyn likes 'em real good, too. They got a lot of her favorites there, an' if she brings some of her friends along, it's cheap enough where they can pay for they's own food an' I ain't got to ante up for it.

You name it, they got it all. Eggs, ham, steak, grits, bacon, hamburgers, fries, waffles, of course, an' pancakes an' ice cream. They got anything a man could want. I really ain't know why they got so many other restaurants out there, 'ceptin some people from up north ain't ascovered Waffle Houses yet. But down south, that is pretty much all you see the locals eatin' at.

We played in some places in Alabama and also outside and the people liked us real good. They was pretty good to us in the money department, but mostly they ain't much money in Alabama.

We went to Florida like I said, an' we got a real good response there. They ain't never heard no one what plays an' sings like me an' Marilyn, so they treated us real good an' got us in some indoor places an' clubs an' venues. We stayed down there a while but then got homesick, plus I had some jobs to do back home, fixin' cars so we had to come back up here to Maryland. One thing I don't like is that they ain't no Waffle Houses here what I know of. But I was glad to see my dogs again an' Marilyn was glad to see her boyfriend again. That long legged crawdaddy missed her!

That boy what she is seein' is six foot two an' is crazy 'bout her. He is all right. If he weren't he wouldn't be seein' her. She is picky about men an' has higher standards than God almost - well, maybe she DOES have higher standards than God, 'cause HE will forgive some things that Marilyn won't, I'll tell you what! She ain't too forgivin' when it comes to how a man can act when he is her beau.

Well, that's it, Tondy. We got some inside places to play at an' a couple parties an' two vestibules (festivals) in the next few weeks, so it should be good.

Tondeleo: Sorry for being delinquent in posting the past several weeks. I have been overwhelmed with work, and hadn't been to the States in a while. I got to be there for a few days last week.

After completing my assignments, I rang up Doc and Marilyn and made arrangements to visit them. When I got there, I noted Big Dave's pick up truck parked in the front garden, so I knew this would be a more prickly visit. I truly like Big Dave, but I am also a bit afraid of him, and find him intimidating.

When I went inside, Doc and Big Dave were standing in the front room listening to a cassette of Hank Williams and just marveling at his wondrous talent. Talent that escapes me totally. Meaning, that to me Hank Williams sounds pretty bad. But never say that to ANY rural American. Hank Williams, Sr is an icon. He died of drunkenness and drug problems on New Years Day, 1953, a day that will live on in infamy among rural Americans.

Doc and Big Dave invited me into the dining area to join them for some more "skinfastsessess." Of course, I had no idea what "skinfastsessess" are but acquiesced. Doc came out with a case of SLIMFAST, the diet drink.

'Here Tondy,' he said as he popped the top on a strawberry flavoured Slimfast. "You can only have one of these because they make you skinny. You're already too skinny. So just one."

"Me and Big Dave gots to drink these, cause we're gettin' to be bigger boys than we wanna be. Marilyn brung these home. She's cleanin' house for a lady what died, an' she had all these cases of Skinfast left over an' they gave 'em to Marilyn what gave' em to me."

"Skinfast is s'posed to make you skinny real fast, so Me an' Big Dave have been chuggin' 'em down for two days. I'll be skinnier 'n you by next weekend, if I don't run out."

Big Dave added that "skinfast" is better over ice cream. He poured two cans of it over his bowl of vanilla ice cream he had helped himself to.

I asked Doc why he was suddenly concerned about his weight, and he said he'd seen some pictures of him an' Marilyn teased him about becoming a pretty good sized boy, and he was used to thinking of himself as smaller.

He explained that he and Marilyn had been down in Alabama where they played some, and also in Florida. It was there that he realized that not everyone has a gut.

"Tondy, some of them boys down Florida is full grown, but still kind of smaller. I ain't been around people like that too much. Mostly what I'm around is either skinny or is a good sized boy, but not much that is like them. Then when we got back, Marilyn got all these Skinfastsessess give to us, so I'm takin' it as a sign.

I sipped on my Slimfast, to try to not lose too much weight while Doc and Big Dave chugged one after another.

"When we're out of these, I'm gonna run up there to Bryans Road Food Lion and buy some more, if me an' Big Dave ain't too skinny. We gonna call him Skinny Dave then. And, we gonna have to buy some smaller guitar straps."

"Yeah, I'm gonna drink until I'm about 175," Big Dave said in a flat voice.

"I ain't sayin when I'm gonna stop. It depends on how fast they work," said Doc.

That was the theme of my brief visit I recorded more of the evening and will post from it later.

Tondeleo: This is a continuation from the previous post, where I was talking with Big Dave about field dressing a deer, in our conversation about preparing road kill.

Here are the notes from that talk:

Big Dave: "Tondy, it don't matter how the deer got killed. Dressing it out is the same. Just the one you shot out in the woods can be field dressed there, but the one you pick up on the side of the road, you got to carry that one somewhere else to field dress it.

"You need some water with you, and some beer, wine or whiskey. You'll need it to rinse off things. like if the bladder leaks urine onto the meat, stuff like that. You ought to have some rags with you, too. And some string. Most of this you'd have in your truck anyways.

"So, you got your deer and you got it where you are gonna dress it out. Ok. Roll it over on its back. Cut a circle around the anus so later you can pull it back, from the inside. You ought to tie it off with string first so it don't leak no deer crap into the meat.

"If it's a buck, cut off his privates and get rid of them. Then cut from his privates up through the ribs, so you can empty out his innards. Don't cut too deep. Just through the skin and the stomach muscles. If you cut too deep you'll go through the stomach and all, and it'll smell real bad. Just don't do it.

"Up by the ribcage, make a big cut so you can start emptying out the guts. Get the cut started and then, put two fingers in the cut to guide your knife, so you're only cutting pretty much the skin. You don't want to cut into his stomach and 'testines and whatnot. Cut the diaphragm loose. It's a sheet of muscle that separates the stomach area from the chest area.

"Then cut up through the ribs, in the center, on up the neck to the bottom of the skull. Cut the windpipe and throat at the base of the skull.

"Then you roll it on over on its side, and pull the guts out. You'll need to cut the fat the holds the 'testines in. That's up there by the backbone. Careful not to cut the 'testines. They'll come out easy, if you've cut everything loose. Keep an eye on the bladder. Reach up inside and pinch it shut while you cut it free with the other hand. If any urine leaks onto the meat, rinse it off real quick with water or beer.

"Cut out the heart and liver from the rest of the guts, and wrap them in rags to keep 'em clean.

"Then, you can skin it and start cutting off the bruised meat, and saving the rest. Give the bruised meat to the dogs. Cut the legs off up by the spine. Same with the ribs. Cut the back straps and tenderloins from the backbone, too. You can throw away the backbone or give it to the dogs.

"After that, you pretty much freeze some and cook up the rest. I know I missed some of what you do, but when you do it yourself, you'll just know by lookin' what you ought to do."

Tondeleo: After talking with Marilyn about Big Dave serving them road kill deer - and discovering that Doc and Marilyn had served me road kill deer, raccoon and opossum, I decided to contact Big Dave and ask a few questions about eating "road kill."

I had his number in my mobile, so I rang him up. After several attempts, he did finally answer. Big Dave is not much of a talker, and I do find him quite intimidating. I explained to him the purpose of my call, and proceeded to interview him the best I could.

Here is the best I could get on a conversation with Big Dave as to eating road kill.

Tondeleo: Big Dave, I wanted to ask you some questions about eating road kill. Doc and Marilyn say that you are the best person to talk to about it, so here we are... I have never knowingly eaten road kill, but Marilyn says that they have fed it to me regularly. Now I want to know a little more about this strange habit...

Big Dave: Nothin' strange about it. It's FREE MEAT. Free and fresh from God's big refrigerator - it's December, man.

You people eat food that was killed by having its throat slit at a slaughterhouse. We eat food that was killed by a car. It don't make no difference how it died, long as it's fresh.

But what I'm eatin' aint got no hormones in it and it's raised natural. Organic. That ought to appeal to you. You ain't even know what you're eating, when you buy meat at the store.

What I'm eatin' for Christmas dinner don't cost me a dime. It's just settin' out there waiting for a hungry man to scoop it up and put some meat on the table. I'm havin' deer and fox this year, along with some vegetables I grew in my garden. It's all free.

As for road kill, when someone hits a deer and calls the cops, guess what they do with it? They take it up to Chuck's Butcher Shop who dresses it out an' then they give it to the food banks and homeless shelters! Poor folks eat road kill all the time and they ain't got no problems with it. You gotta eat. I got ground deer in my freezer right now what was given to me by the lady down the road who got it at the food bank. It's free meat.

Road kill aint just for poor folks, like you think. It's for anyone who needs meat or who just would rather have natural raised than the ones with chemicals in it what you buy at the store.

Tondeleo: So, Big Dave, how does one know if the animal on the side of the road is fresh enough to eat, or is even fit to eat at all?

Big Dave: Well, use your head. If it stinks, it aint no good. If it's got maggots on it, it aint no good. If it's smashed flat or its guts are spilled all over the road, I ain't touchin' it.

If the eyes are clouded over with white it’s been dead several hours, but that don't mean the meat's bad. If it still has fleas on it, that means it's probably still good enough to eat. When the meat goes bad, the fleas take off for something better to eat.

Usually on a deer, it only has damage on one side, so you have about most of it that's good enough to eat. You might lose a hip on one side, to being bruised. You can give that to the dogs. They like it fine. I mean they can't tell it's bruised. It just tastes like meat to them.

Tondeleo: How about after rigor mortis sets in... you know, once it's gone stiff. You can't eat it then, can you, Big Dave?

Big Dave: Sure. They go stiff pretty quick. I eat 'em all the time what was stiff when I found them. If they don't stink and they aren't busted up too bad, you can eat them.

You can eat pheasants, foxes, badgers, rabbits, all of 'em. If the blood is red, they are very fresh. If it's fresh, you can eat it. I call it God's Grocery Store.

This interview went a bit longer and I will save if for another posting, where we get specific on how to field dress a deer.

Tondeleo: I haven't been to the States for more than a month now, and I have been ill frequently - which means that I have been in the survival mode as to my writing for paying my bills. I haven't had time to post anything about Doc and Marilyn.

I did ring them up the other night, just to wish them a happy Christmas and holiday season. It was good to be able to talk with them, and to hear their plans for Christmas.

Marilyn answered the call:

Marilyn: HI TONDY!!! Uncle Doc ain't here. You calling from that England?

Tondeleo: Yes, Marilyn, I'm calling from "that England." Bromley, actually. How are you and Doc doing?

Marilyn: Well... me an' Uncle Doc been shoppin', been visitin' and playin' an' singin' at peoples' Christmas parties so we got some money for presents. We been up to the Dollar General an' Doc got me some clothes an' some other things what'll be a surprise.

I got him a new hat an' some shirts an' socks. Two bags of socks, Tondy! He needed socks real bad. His old ones are all rotten.

We went to the Wal-Mart over to La Plata, too, Tondy! We ain't been there for three months cause we ain't had the time or money. But we got four 50 pound bags of dog food for Dale Junior and Stubby an' Doc got 'em some new collars for Christmas! They're gonna be SO excited Tondy!

Last night we went to Big Dave's an' played music an' sang til real late. I took a picture what I'll email you when we go to the Bryans Road liberry. [I got the pic today - see below] Big Dave was askin' about you an' said to wish you a good Christmas if y'all do Christmas in England. I told him you did.

Big Dave is doin' well. He still ain't drinkin' an' that's a good thing, cause when he used to drink, he could be mean. Now he is a big teddy bear, but don't let on that I told you Tondy! Cross your heart!

Big Dave had cooked up a deer roast from a deer what he found what got hit by a car.

Tondeleo: Road kill? He fed you road kill?

Marilyn: Well it ain't like that, Tondy. If you are out at night an' there ain't a deer on the side of the road an' then you go by in the mornin' and there IS a deer on the side of the road, then you know it's fresh. An besides, it's cold outside, so it's not gonna go bad. We eat it all the time, Tondy.

Tondeleo: Well I wouldn't eat road kill, Marilyn! That's disgusting!

Marilyn: Well, guess what, "Mr. Better n' us?" You've ALREADY eaten road kill! You've had road kill deer, road kill 'coon and road kill possum! Cause if we see it an' it's fresh an' ain't too tore up, we dress it an' freeze it an' eat it. It ain't nothin' wrong with it, an' you've liked it!

Tondeleo: I wish you hadn't told me that, Marilyn! I think I'm going to be sick!

Marilyn: Quit bein' a sissy, Tondy! Meat is meat. All you do is when you field dress it, you cut out the part where it's bruised. The rest of the meat it just fine an' that's what we ate at Big Dave's. He's a good cook an' gave us some deer steaks to take home for Christmas. He's like havin' an extra Uncle. He's a good man an' a good guitar player, too. Plus he can cook, so he's better n' you in some ways.

Tondeleo: I'm sure he IS better than me, in a LOT of ways, Marilyn. Especially when it comes to being able to take dead animals from the side of the road and making savory dishes. I can honestly say that he is probably better than any of my friends. So you can pass my praise on to Big Dave and tell him to have a wonderful Christmas! Tell Doc I'll be talking to him before Christmas!

Marilyn: Ok, bye Tondy! And Merry Christmas - "Mr. Better n' us!"

I have been down with H1N1 the past several days, and it has been dreadful. I came down with it several days after arriving in the States, and a few days after visiting Doc and Marilyn. Doc, as you'll recall, was sick in bed, attempting to "sweat out" whatever it was that he was ill with. He had all the symptoms of H1N1. Fever, chills, aches, pains, coughing, bad stomach, all of it. He had what I am experiencing now.

Doc had refused my homeopathic immune system boosters, calling them "quack medicine," and that he "weren't no duck," so he "weren't takin' no quack medicine." When I told him that it wasn't medicine, and that it was all natural, he informed me that anthrax was all natural and that he wasn't taking that either.

Last evening, I phoned Doc and Marilyn from my sick bed. Marilyn answered the phone.I found out that Marilyn never came down with H1N1, which their circle of friends refers to as "the pig flu."

She says that the Lord kept her from getting the pig flu because Jesus knew that Doc needed her to cook for him and to help him get well. Doc got over the pig flu in three or four days and was back working on cars and singing and writing new songs already.

I asked her what did she fix for him that made him well so quickly? "Well, mostly I'd cook him beef broth, made from cookin' beef bones in water and garlic an' onions, with some black pepper in it. You cook 'em for about four hours an' then let it soak. I'd give him a cup in the mornin' an' one at lunchtime an' one at supper time an' one about 10 at night."

"I also got lemon juice up at the Safeway's over to Bryans Road, an' put that in hot water with some honey in it an' cinnamon an' nutmeg. I gave him about five cups a day in his drinkin' jar. You gotta flush out that flu so it don't stay in his liver an' such."

I asked Marilyn where she learned to do that. "It's just what people know what lives out in the country an' gots to be their own doctor. We're about almost a hour from a doctor an' we ain't got no 'surance or nothin' so we got to come up with what we know. Some of it is just somethin' everyone out here knows, an' other of it is just what comes up in your spirit to do.

"Like, anything what kind of goes up your nose when you smell it will make you feel better - like cinnamon an' nutmeg. Ginger is good for you. Peppermints. We grow them in our yard. You can smell it. So is rosemary. An' peppers, an' onions an' garlic. Dark coloured fruits an' berries is good, too. Like blueberries an' poke berries. It's just somethin' that you know. You put it in hot water an' drink a lot of it.

"Red clover blossoms is good for you an' my grand mama said it would get rid of cancer. I ain't never tried it but she said it does. She would make tea from it an' drink it 4 times a day an' lived like 15 years after the doctor said she had stomach cancer. It ain't what killed her, Tondy. It was a heart attack."

I don't know how these people come up with their concoctions, but I do know that they seem to bounce back to health more quickly than those of us that go to the doctor seem to. On the other hand, maybe it is the high amounts of horrid liquids and sweating that actually get the flu to want to leave the body as quickly as possible so it can go infect someone else! I don't know. All I know is that I need to end this and run to the 'loo - right now!

In the U.K., H1N1, or Swine Flu is considered pandemic. There are all kinds of responses here, ranging from making certain that we all have our injections that are provided by the government, to wearing masks for protection, to herbal remedies, to simply ignoring it.

Being a bit on the conservative side when it comes to my health, I have opted for herbal preventatives, hoping to boost my immune system enough that I can get through the winter without becoming a host of the Swine Flu.

When I came to the Sates last week for a quick trip, I brought along my herbal remedies. I was surprised at the difference in how Americans are responding to this outbreak. Some of them are refusing the government provided injections, saying that the government may be putting something else in the hypodermics, or that the concoctions have not been thoroughly tested enough.

Others are adamant that EVERY person in the US should be required to receive a flu inoculation. I had a pretty good idea that Doc, Marilyn and their friends would not be in this camp. I was pretty certain that they would opt out of the inoculations all together.

When I got a few hours to be able to visit, I telephoned them, and Marilyn answered the phone. She told me not to visit because Doc had the flu. He'd been feeling bad for a couple of days and had finally decided to go to bed and lay there until it passed.

Marilyn took the phone to Doc so I could offer him some of my herbal treatment. I figured that he might accept it, since it was all natural. When he got on the phone, his voice was gravelly and weak.

I offered my condolences, and then offered to drive to Nanjemoy and bring him some of the tonic I had with me.

He said, "I aint taking no medicine. I'm just gonna drink a lot of juice and lay here in bed in my long johns and wrapped up in blankets an' sweat this thing out."

"I know it's all natural. But that don't mean it won't hurt me. Anthrax is all natural, too."

I told him that he had a good idea, but that what I was offering him wasn't actually medicine, It is all natural and couldn't hurt him.

He was quiet for several seconds and then whispered, "I appreciate it Tondy, I really do, but I ain't gonna take it. I know it's all natural. But that don't mean it won't hurt me. Anthrax is all natural, too. So thanks but no thanks. Come by next time and we'll go out and eat."

I offered him and Marilyn my best thoughts and got off the phone, hoping Doc recovers quickly.

Tondeleo: Some humour is universal. Some humour, you only THINK is universal. Like the variations on "you are what you eat," which I thought was universal.

I was eating with Doc and Marilyn and Big Dave one night and I commented that "you are what you eat." And then I said, "So Marilyn, you must eat a lot of bratwurst."

Marilyn: Why would I eat a lot of bratwurst, Tondy? I ain't even know what it is..."

Doc: Marilyn aint no brat. Where you get off talkin' like that at my table, boy?

Marilyn: Yeah, Tondy!

Tondeleo: No, it's a joke, Marilyn. Like, you are what you eat. So you must eat a lot of BRATwurst, because you are the WORST BRAT...

Marilyn: A-w-w-w... Tondy. That was mean. I can be mean too. YOU'RE a Brit. You eat Britwurst, then.

Doc: No, I get it, Tondy. It's like, you must eat a lot of chicken, right? Cause you's scared of everything. That means you eat a lot of chicken. You're a chicken.

Tondeleo: Well, that's the idea, Doc. At least you get it.

Thirty seconds of awkward silence passes.

Big Dave, talking with his mouth full: My boss must eat a lot of skunk monkey.

Tondeleo: Uh... yeah, sure, Big Dave. (I am NOT going to argue with Big Dave about anything. He scares me.)

Marilyn: And Uncle Doc eats a lot of barbecue!

Tondelo: And why is THAT, Marilyn?

Marilyn: Because Uncle Doc LIKES barbecue a lot! So he EATS a lot of it!

What can I say?

Tondeleo: My friend Clive in Hemel Hempstead has been vegan for the past few years and has finally convinced me to cut out all meat eating. Clive says, "Don't eat anything that had a face." That's his rule. He may go for the occasional clam or oyster, I don't know, but that is his rule. If it had a face, he will not eat it.

I like me fish n' chips, so to ask me to cut out all meat is a big deal. I finally have been without meat for perhaps four weeks, and I think I feel better for it. I still eat mountains of chips, however. The part of Clive's argument that persuaded me to go vegetarian is the violence involved. He asked me how I could in good conscience eat something that had to die so I could live. It hardly seems fair that a cow should have to die so that I could live, does it? Why should a fish die, just so I could have an order of fish n' chips?

I came to peace with my decision, and decided to present Doc Stevens and Marilyn with the idea of becoming vegetarians or even vegans. Here is how that conversation went:

Tondeleo: Doc, since the last time we got together, I've gone vegetarian! That means I don't eat meat anymore! I only eat vegetables. It is less violent, and I feel that it is wrong for something else to have to die so that I could live. I think that you and Marilyn ought to consider it.

Doc: So WHY ain't you eatin' meat? You don't want nothin' to DIE?

Tondeleo: That's pretty much it, Doc. The less death on the earth, the better. So I am doing my part to save life on earth. It's a noble thing, really...

Doc: Well, it's noble if you don't think about it, and if you ain't never done no farmin'. For somethin' to die so somethin' else can live is a part of nature. A ant eats a termite to live. A lizard eats the ant. A bird eats the lizard and a cat eats the bird. An' the Chinese carry out might eat the cat. That's how it's set up, Tondy. Somethin' dies so somethin' else can live. Country folks all know that. We LIVE that. But you can do what you like.

Tondeleo: Well, I don't like the idea of taking a life so I can live.

Doc: I unnerstan, Tondy. Takin' a life so you can live sounds bad. But even the Lord gave his life so we could live. That's the way it is. It takes life to give life.

But eatin' just veggies don't mean you ain't killin' nothin' when you eat. When I plow a field to plant vegetables, more things die than if I shot a cow for you to eat. In even one acre of ground, when it gets plowed, hundreds of bugs die. Three of four snakes'll die. Mouse nests with baby mice will be plowed under. It might kill a dozen field mice. A couple of turtles'll get plowed under. You're killin' maybe a hundred things just to plant a acre of food. And they ain't always fast or easy deaths. Some of it is pretty slow.

"But eatin' just veggies don't mean you ain't killin' nothin' when you eat. When I plow a field to plant vegetables, more things die than if I shot a cow for you to eat."

When you eat a cow, it is only one death. Cows don't step on snakes and turtles and mice and all that. Most everything gets outta their way. When a cow is butchered, it's pretty quick, too. I ain't changin' your mind, just fillin' out your information.

Like I ain't eat much commercial raised beef cause it's full of hormones and chemicals and they feed them cows corn. Cows ain't supposed to eat corn and cain't really digest it. Feedin'a cow a diet of corn'll kill it in less than a year. It makes acid and they die of acidosis if they ain't butchered afore they die of it. A cow is made to eat grass. I eat local grown cows. I eat more deer. Deer ain't full of hormones and chemicals. And it's free.

You gotta watch out for farm raised fish, too, Tondy. They put growth chemicals in their food to make 'em grow quicker. You ain't wantin' that. neither. Eat fresh fish. Or you can eat veggies like you're doin'.

Guess what, though Tondy? Pickin' out what kinds of food you will and won't eat is a luxury. Most of us is happy just to eat anything. I ain't too big on Ramen noodles but I eat 'em if that's all we got.My favorite food is veinson and a side of greens and maybe a potato. But I cain't always get what I want. So I settle for eatin' what the good Lord provides.

Now if you got the money to buy just what you want, then I say more power to ya. It ain't hurt nobody an' it makes you happy. Go for it.

Tondeleo: So what are you saying, Doc? Are you actually SUPPORTING me be a vegetarian? I can't believe that!

Doc: I'm just sayin' a man can eat what he wants to eat. If you like veggies, eat 'em. If you like meat, eat it, but be careful where it comes from. But don't think that eatin' veggies saves more life than eatin' meat. It don't. You just gotta know that for one thing to live, somethin' else is gonna have to die. It's sad, but that's life.

I ain't care what you eat, just don't make it a issue for everybody else. Don't come off soundin' like you're better an' smarter than everybody else cause you is a vegetarian now. You eat what you eat, an' me an' Marilyn eat what we eat. Sometimes it'll be the same thing. Tonight we're havin' greens and pinto beans for supper. That's what we're havin' because that's what we got. Ain't makin' no statements, just makin' supper.

Tondeleo: Doc and Marilyn have been trying for more than a year to get me to eat with them at a particular "sit down" restaurant down in Saint Mary's County, MD. For once my schedule allowed me the opportunity to have tea with him and Marilyn. It was more than an hour from Nanjemoy at a Fifties themed restaurant called Bert's 50's Diner. http://www.berts50sdiner.com . This is Doc's absolute favourite place to eat when he has the money and the time to go in for a sit down meal. He has been trying to get me to go with him and Marilyn for months. The picture of Bert's 50's Diner below was taken by Ron Patterson.

When we arrived, I could see why Doc is so in awe of it. It is a very American place, with a a real American 50's hot rod mounted on the roof, complete with a flamed paint job. Doc says the car is a 1950 Mercury, and that the right rear quarter panel of the car is wrecked making it totaled (a write off) several years ago. Bert, the owner of Bert's 50's Diner is a car lover. He bought it and had it mounted on the roof of his Diner as an attention getter.

Doc says that he could have fixed that car, because back at the time it happened, one of his fellow Nanjemoy residents, a man called Streamliner Wedding had a Mercury just like it parked in the woods beside the breaker's yard (junkyard) he used to operate there in Nanjemoy. Doc says he could have bought the whole car for maybe 300 dollars back then. It has since been crushed and Streamliner is dead, too.

When we got to Bert's, there was a a small queue of people waiting for an available table, but we only waited five minutes or so. When our server escorted us to the table, Doc was in his glory, pointing out all the automobile paraphernalia on the walls: Old registration plates, automobile adverts, and magazine covers from the 1950's. There were also a lot of 50's music items on the walls - photos of Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe, James Dean and other 50's icons.

The menu looked as though it was from the 1950's as well. Doc helped me order a memorable meal. I had (with all apologies to my fellow countrymen) sweet iced tea, which is not bad once you tell your taste buds that this is not tea at all, it is just a syrupy sweet American beverage served American style with plenty of ice. To me it is reminiscent of treacle and water.

Bert's serves huge portions at excellent prices. I wanted to order one of Bert's huge 30" pizza's, but Marilyn said we'd eaten enough pizza the last few weeks and that she didn't want any. I have never seen larger pizza's than the ones at Bert's. Certainly in the U.K., we never have these amounts of food available! Actually, we would find it a bit gauche, but I would never tell that to Doc or Marilyn. To them, having huge amounts of food is nothing less than a fulfillment of their greatest dreams!

I was ready to order smothered steak, but Doc steered me away from it. He said he wasn't sure of eating meat that was smothered, that really you can only trust meat that was shot or killed right, at a slaughterhouse. After thinking about the poor cow being smothered, I was rather put off and ordered Bert's Famous Fish sandwich for $6.25, which included the "fries" [chips]. I managed to get through most of the glass of "sweet tea," which is served American style, at the same time as the meal instead of afterwards as is done in Britain.

Marilyn ordered the All American BLT sandwich with a side order of chips, and of course, iced tea. She had only one free refill of the chilled sweetened tea based beverage.

Doc ordered a Porky Pig Barbecue "submarine" sandwich, which is a sandwich served on a roll that is nearly 12 " long. The meat is pork and the sandwich had cole slaw on it, as well as sliced onions, tomatoes, lettuce, tomato sauce and mayonnaise. This was only $6.25 He also ordered the "full tank" of french fried onion rings, for $3.95. He had two large "free" refills of the sweet iced tea, and finished it all with a loud burp, and considered having ice cream afterwards!

In the States, the drinks are cheaper than in UK, ($2.25 each at Bert's) and that includes as many free refills as you can pour into your body. The portions in the States are easily three times larger than what we get in the UK, and the prices are about half what we pay. So, it is no wonder that Americans, even poor ones tend to be overweight. It is cheap, easy and tasty to become fat in the States. I have put on nearly one stone since coming to the States more frequently this past year!

Also, in the States, for men, it is considered "macho" to be a bit on the portly side. They don't consider themselves "fat" or obese, but rather will refer to themselves as becoming a "good sized boy" or a "pretty fair sized boy," no matter how many decades have passed since the individual WAS a boy.

Our server was polite and friendly, much more chatty than we would generally have in the UK. Marilyn explained that a large part of the friendliness (which I found nearly off-putting) was in order to get a larger "tip" at the end of the meal. Doc liked her and she realised rather early on that he was the one who was going to be paying, so she paid particular attention to him. At the end of the meal, the bill was roughly only $22 for the three of us. Doc pulled out a $20 dollar bill, four one dollar bills and $5 bill. He told her she'd done a good job and that the extra was for her.

I could not comprehend paying a $7 tip on a bill that was approximately only $20. That is nearly 30%! Doc explained, "Tondy, that girl works hard for her money, and they don't even pay minimum wage at restaurants, these people depend on tips. Some people don't leave nothin', or just a couple of dollars.

"I always tip good. You need to be a giver, not a taker. And you don't never go home at night and wish you hadn't tipped so much. But if you tipped cheap, you might go home and feel bad and cain't do nothin' about it. Always give 'em more than they expect, 'cause there is always some tightwad who tries to chisel them outta their money.

"There ain't nothing attractive about a cheap man. Remember that, Tondy. Being a giver is a good thing. Being cheap ain't nothing that no one likes to be around. It's about havin' style. I'm tryin' to help you have style, Tondy. Give more than you have to, and do it with a smile. It'll help other people what's tryin' to pay they's bills an' it'll make you feel better about yourself. A man needs to do all he can to feel good about hisself these days."

Tondeleo: Of the handful of drawings Doc has given to me of his "inventions and cures," this one may be the most interesting. Doc hasn't taken much interest in the world HIV/AIDS crisis because, like for a lot of people, it doesn't effect him. His niece Marilyn has been working to educate him that AIDS impacts more than just gays and intravenous drug users.

After listening to Marilyn's educational talks, and things that she was taught in school about potential cures, Doc went outside and on the hood of his panel truck, which he uses for a desk, he sketched out a rough idea for a cure. Now he has done his bit for the future of humanity, according to him.

Doc: "Marilyn says it ain't just homos and junkies gettin' AIDS now. I didn't know that. But she said they thought that sunrays kill AIDS out of the blood. Well if that's all there is to it, I got a fix for it. It's all right here in my drawing. Here it is.Tell a doctor on that interweb to figure out all the details. Just make sure he gives me some credit. Marilyn said that whoever finds a cure for AIDS will win a noble prize. I don't know what the prize is, but I been layin' in bed tryin' to picture what it might be. I could use a new truck. I hope that's what it is.

Tondeleo: A while back, I was talking with Doc about the power of the Internet and all the knew information and medical breakthroughs that are coming about through shared knowledge and research. I was trying to explain to him how in some instances each of us has a piece of the puzzle and when we share it, others can come along and add their knowledge and ultimately people get helped and lives can be saved.

I know he doesn't understand the Internet and the concepts I was passing on, but as I mentioned in the last post, something got Doc interested in sharing some of his "medical breakthroughs" with the world through the "interweb."

He brought me three drawings he did, with Marilyn's assistance on the spelling and wording. He wanted me to post them on the "interweb" and to make sure that if someone gets help from them that they know they were helped by Doc Stevens, Inventor and Body 'n Fender Man.

Here's what he says about this invention:

Doc: "Tondy what you was saying about all the bad blood out there an' AIDS an' drug addicts sellin' their blood for money got me worried. Then I was eatin' corn flakes with freeze dried strawberries in 'em an' a idea hit me BLAM! right in the head. Them straw berries might be a year old when you get 'em in your cereal bowl, but when you add milk or water like me an' Marilyn do when things is tight, you got fresh strawberries. That is cause they is freeze dried.

A person could go to the Red Cross or a hospital and get some blood drained out and freeze dried when they is healthy. They could carry it in a little packet like coffee creamer comes in, and keep it in they's wallet or purse if they is a woman. Then, when they has an accident, the doctors can just add water to they's freeze dried blood an' just like that, you have fresh blood. An' you know it'll work in that person cause it is they own blood in the first place.

I ain't never tried it personally but I bet they is a doctor out there on that Interweb what could make it work. If he does, or if she does if it is a lady, tell 'em to get ahold of you or me Tondy, cause we gave 'em the idea. Show 'em the drawing, too."

Tondeleo: Doc and I got into a discussion of the disadvantages of living in the country, as far as police and medical care are concerned. I have always until lately lived in urban areas where both medical health and police are only a few minutes away. My time staying with Doc has taken a lot to get used to. Here are excerpts from Doc's view on being out in the middle of nowhere.

Doc: Bein' far from the police ain't nothin, Tondy. It ain't their job to protect your property an' family. That's YOUR job. A man needs to protect his family and his stuff. Then you calls the cops afterwards, if you had to shoot him or he got your stuff. Mostly if you fire your 12 gauge [shotgun] in the air and tell him you'll blow his head off, he'll take of runnin'. I don't need the cops out here pokin' round my place.

Now ambulances an' all that, well, you gotta know how to fix yourself a little bit. We's bout 20 or so miles from the hospital an' it takes 'em a while to get here from Ironsides. You do the basic doctorin' when you can an' they do more in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.

I invented a way to stop bleedin'. Idea came to me when Floyd had a huntin' accident an' his boy Floyd Jr shot him in the right arm an' he was bleeding all over the place. I wrapped his arm in saran wrap an' blowed Marilyn's hairdryer on it an' it held the bleedin' til Mamie came by an' took Floyd to the hospital. Way I figure, they ought to do that in the ambulance, but use that shrink wrap what gets tighter when you heat it. That's what I invented.

If you put it on the interweb, give me credit. I am the inventor an' if someone's life gets saved, I want 'em to know they's life been saved by a inventor an' body an' fender man - Doc Stevens.

Tondeleo: Two days later Doc came over with some drawings of medical cures and inventions for me to put on the "interweb." Here is the first one, the one to stop bleeding: