Tondeleo - If you have read these posts up to now, you will have gotten some understanding of the minds of rural Americans, who may be nearly penniless, yet have large amounts of guns and musical instruments. They don't find this extravagant at all. They say these are necessities and are part of what makes life worth living. That and "the good Lord." Guns, guitars and God (and pickup trucks, and for many, beer).

This post is about what Doc calls Tele Number Two. This one is a 1971 Fender Telecaster that he has had for a long time. It has been heavily modded. In fact to a purist, it might be considered heavily ruined. Doc mentioned taking it to a guitar shop down in Virginia, and the guitar tech looked it over, and pronounced that while it lost some value due to it not being all original, that the modifications were old enough that some of them were considered vintage!

This guitar was modded more than thirty years ago.

Doc: This here Tele was what we called "hopped up" back then. We didn't say modded. It weren't rare back then, it was just an old guitar an' it needed to sound better. It is kind of rare, too, because it's got a maple plug up on the neck where the adjusting rod goes in. Most of them has like walnut. Mine don't.

Tondeleo: What is it with Americans that even ones like you, without much money, have this mad drive to customise EVERYTHING? Can't you leave well enough alone?

Doc: Well, we like to make things personal, Tondy. The factories make things for just average, like not for anyone special. So when you get it, whether it's a guitar or a pickup truck or bike [motorcycle], it's up to YOU to make it the way YOU want it for what YOU plan on doin' with it.

You might jack your truck up, for mud boggin' or lower it down for a low rider. Or custom paint it so it stands out. You gotta put rims on it and all that.

For your guitar, it's the same thing. Everyone is a individual and has to make it so it is just right for what you want to do with it, the kind of music you play and the sound you want. Out of the box, it's not really for anybody. Just everybody, if you know what I mean.

Plus, if you're poor, you might just want to have SOMETHING that is special just to YOU. You want to stand out and be different. It is kind of like showmanship but in real life.

On this Tele, I think it was about 1978 or 79 when we did it. We put on a Kahler whammy bar setup. It's got pulleys and springs and is for doing what was called dive bombs, and making the sounds bend, without the guitar going out of tune. That Kahler set up was $300 back then! I painted a boy's pickup for $300 and then gave all that money to the guitar shop for that Kahler bridge! They had to cut into the guitar to put it in and set it up. But I guess it was worth it. I couldn't have done it right!

On a Telecaster, the strings go all the way through the body, so it stains [sustains] longer. The strings goes in through the back. That's else why I couldn't have put that Kahler on there. I woulda ruint it for sure.

Then we put more pickups on it. A Tele comes with with just two single coil pickups on it, so it hums a bit and is kind of limited. We wanted it to sound different - you see, I already had the other Tele, Tele Number One, and they weren't rare - still aint rare. Just old ones is rare now. Tele Number Two was like 8 years old back then. Just old enough to be ready to upgrade. Nobody thought it was stupid back then - just now, 30 years later! But I don't care, cause I ain't sellin' it.

It aint a collector's guitar, Tondy, it's a player's guitar. And it plays blues like you wouldn't believe, and rock, metal, country, you name it. It'll do it. And it should, with all this work done to it!

Like now, instead of just two single coil pickups like it came with, it's got two humbuckers and one single coil. We put in a five way switch so you can have five combinations of ways it can sound.

They had a "brass works" option from Fender back then, I think them and Kahler was in on it together, so we got that, too. That was a few dollars, at least for a poor man back then. It was the back plates behind the knobs and pickups, and the whammy bar had a brass tip on it, and the knobs were brass.

Since the Kahler was black and the pickups were brass, I threw away the brass knobs and put black ones on it to match better. That Tele was the envy of most everybody who saw it back then. It looked so sharp, and sounded good, and just had "that look" to it. All the boys back then liked it and wished they could do somethin' to theirs. Some of them did, but not many cause nobody had any money. I worked hard because I had a desire for it, and saved my money for this.

Tondeleo: What are the four little holes up there on the part where the tuners are?

Doc: We had the locking nut which was part of the Kahler set up, up there for a while, but it was a hassle to tune, so I took it off and threw it away about a year after putting it on. I never filled the holes from the screws. It'd look worser than it does with the little holes in it. I still like how it looks and sounds. It is good for rock and blues and country, pretty much anything. It's been good to me.

By the way, that guitar was worth maybe $300 at the most when we did all that work on it! A $300 guitar and maybe $500 or so in making it personal. At the time, it DID make it worth more. I weren't doing it to make it worth more in money. I did it to make it worth more to ME.

But now after 30 years, some of them boys say it cut the value in half or less. Ain't that somethin? But I ain't care. It's not for sale. Probably when Marilyn gets married someday and has some youngin's I'll give it to the one what'll learn how to play guitar and treats me good.

Tondeleo: Here is part of a conversation I recorded a year or so ago and never transcribed. Doc was talking about how, as people get more affluent, they tend to not be as happy and satisfied as they were when they were struggling.

Doc: "Ain't nothin' wrong with havin' stuff, Tondy. Nothin' at all. But the more a person has, the more he wants. That's a fact.

Not just the more he wants, but the more he thinks he needs. You take a man what's been broke all his life, and then he 'herits some money. Now he thinks he NEEDS things that used to he only dreamed about.

Now he NEEDS a couple of suits. He NEEDS vacations. Never had one in his life, now he NEEDS one or two a year. NEEDS a big house. NEEDS a shiny new car. NEEDS to have his kids in private school. NEEDS his old lady to quit workin' and to get her hair did every other week. And he ain't never had none of that even one day in his life before!

Now a poor man, when he thinks about having money, dreams that he would be more happier, more relaxed if all he had was more money. He thinks he would be happier and worry less, if he had, say a million dollars.

Poor folks worry, but so do rich folks. Matter of fact, most of the bosses what I've had has been more worried about money and payin' bills than poor folks. And they worried more about the future than poor folks.

Here they are, livin' their dream with their own shop or garage, an' people workin' for them and you find them worryin' more about the customer what went to a competitor, or worryin' about how can they get a bigger shop or a newer tow truck. I mean here is a guy who ain't never had nothin', and now he's got a little bit, he starts worryin' about what he ain't got!

Then, it gets worse, Tondy. Now he is worried about havin' life insurance, and how is he gonna send his kids to college, and his retirement, of which I ain't got one, and stuff he ain't never even heard of 'til he got a little money! You cain't even imagine the things a man will worry about, once his life gets easier an' he gets a few more dollars. Ain't no limit!

Here's somethin' else what happens. Instead of gettin' along better with people, he starts gettin' pickier and pickier! He gets mad at more people an' he gets mad for stuff what don't even matter! He's fightin' for things what don't matter one bit - an' he worries himself sick over it.

Like who is gonna be the Businessman of the Year. Who cares? Or, who else is gonna be allowed to join the same country club what he belongs to now? He wouldn't a even KNOWED about a country club a few years ago! And now he's a member, an' worried that they might let in someone who ain't up to his standard!

I say it's best to keep important things important, Tondy. Like puttin' enough food on the table. Bein' a better person. Gettin' along with folks. Helpin' people out what ain't got it as good as you, and walkin' with the Lord. That's about it. The rest'll take care of itself."

Tondeleo: To me, it's nothing short of amazing and a bit sad when I see how hard most of the rural Americans that I have met, have to work, just to sustain a not very lavish lifestyle.

America has many financial programmes that provide assistance, and many people take advantage of them. But, to most of the rural Americans I have met, accepting a handout is considered to be conceding defeat, and they feel that it also threatens their independence.

Over the Summer, I was able to spend part of a day at Doc and Marilyn's, and in the evening we visited some of their friends, all who are hard workers, but who have very little to show for their labours, at least in the material realm.

I asked Doc about how he felt, as he gets older, having to work so hard (mostly as a panel beater) fixing cars in his crowded home- made garage. Of course it is not air conditioned. He has an electric fan that was the ventilator in the 'loo of a government building that a friend of his remodeled (it was being tossed). Even with the stifling hot air being circulated, I know that I would not be able to last more than an hour. To be quite honest, his garage felt more like being in a giant human pizza oven. In the winter, he goes without heat, or uses a wood stove at the back of the shop, which does not heat it at all. It just takes the chill off. I cautioned Doc that as he got older, this would be a danger to his health.

Doc: Tondy, most days I can outwork a man what's twice my junior. But that aint as hard as it seems, cause them boys is gettin' older, too. It ain't like when they was twenty.

Alot of boys twice my junior is about thirty now, and they cain't work hard no more. So I can back off a little and still outwork 'em.

Tondeleo: OK, Doc, I understand... I think. You ARE admitting that you can't outwork a 20 year old, right?

Doc: Heck NO! Most of them 20 year olds, MARILYN can outwork 'em. Most of them what has been through high school aint had but one year of gym class! They get tired just THINKIN' about havin' to do real work. Most of 'em is bushed if they had to run a half mile! It ain't nothin' to outwork 'em!

Now Marilyn, she been doin' serious work since before I took her in when my brother died, She makes most of them boys look like the out of shape sissies they are! She can work out here in the shop when it's a hundred degrees!

These high school graduates want air conditionin' or they can't work. They want safety goggles. Sun glasses ain't good enough. Got to have dust masks and aspirators when we is sprayin' paint - or they run outside coughin' like they's dyin. But they can smoke cigarettes and weed all day long. And they can talk half a day.

Now, me, I ain't smoke nothin. I ain't drink. I ain't standin' around battin' the breeze all day. I stay pretty fit. So it ain't nothin' when a old man can outwork most men what's twice his junior - specially if they is city boys. Now country boys is another story.

Tondeleo: In the light of the worldwide economic crisis, I thought it would be particularly fitting to post this conversation I had with Doc a few months ago about greed, money, and contentment.

As you know, Doc doesn't have a lot of money or material possessions, but he is content, and works hard enough at enough things that he and Marilyn and the dogs eat well.

I was asking Doc about the why America seems to have sudden;y plummeted from it's position as world leader to a confused giant that has somehow lost its way. I thought his answers were worth posting.

Doc: Tondy, I'll tell ya. It's about payin' the cost to be the boss. You gotta pay the cost to be the boss. America used to be a country full of immigrants. In my granddaddy's day, they al was pretty much immigrants, where he lived. In they's houses, they spoke the language of where they'd come from. At home, you might hear Italian, Pollock, German or whatever. They was all first generation immigrants.

But they's kids was American and called themselves American. Didn't call themselves half American like they do now. You can take some office boy what ain't never been outta the US and his parents aint, and his grandparents aint, and he calls hisself a Irish-American. No, he's American.

Same with black folks. They ain't all African American. Some is from the islands, like Jamaica or Saint Lucy. They is also white folks what is African, 'cause I met a white woman from South Africa, and she said she was African, and I said, Whoa sister! You are the wrong color but she said she was South African.

But what made America great, Tondy, was them first generation folks. Immigrants. They left everything they had in they's own countries and spent all they had to come here, to start a new life. They paid the price.

But that second and third generation, they is the ones that lose that sense of bein' hungry and havin' a dream to pull them along. A ot of them is spoilt, and ain't got no work ethic. Some of 'em won't even work. But they's parents and grandparents worked day and night and sacrificed so they could live the American dream. But the grandkids just ain't got that drive.

They ain't got the drive, they ain't got the work ethic, but they want everything that money can buy and they want it NOW. N-O-W, now. And if they cain't get it, they feel like they is being held back and mistreated. That is what has happened to America, Tondy.

These folks is so indulged, they feel empty if there is something out there that they haven't been able to buy yet, or if they find out about some place they ain't been to yet, and then they feel like they is bein' held back. They gotta have EVERYTHING they want and not ever be told the word, "no."

That's why most people in America is so in debt. They want everything right now, when they aint got the money for it, so they makes payments, and they spend more than they make every month.

Like most people gots credit cards. And they can't pay it off every month because they spend more than they make. They can't afford how they is livin.' And they think they gotta have all that stuff. They don't.

That is the kind of people what got in control of our country, and the banks and car companies, and they think they have to have everything and have it all right now. And they don't care who they hurt or have to rip off, and that is how they grabbed millions of dollars for themselves and ran the common people into the ground.

As for me, I think you are rich if you don't need anything. Like I seen a rich dude at the mall up to Waldorf. Me an' him got to talkin' an' I asked him what he was buyin.' He coulda bought half that mall if he wanted. Know what he said? He said he wasn't buyin' nothin. He already had enough of everything. Now, that is rich.

Bein' rich is about having enough that you don't need everything. I got a pickup truck an' my old panel truck. I ain't need a new car. Ain't even tempted. I like where I live, and I like my guitars and my tools and my dogs and my friends and Marilyn. I ain't needin' anyting else. So I am a rich man, Tondy. I ain't needin' nothin'.

Here's a story that my cousin down in Gate City told me.

A rich man dies and wants to take along at least one bag of money with him. It's all he has. He ain't never been very religious - ain't never helped nobody neither. He just made money all his life. The angel of death, he didn't care if the man brought along a bag of money.

So the man stands before the throne of God, up in Heaven, and Jesus asks, What's that? The man said, "it's my money, it's all I have."

Jesus says, to the angel: "Let me see it, bring it here." Jesus takes that bag of money and tries to sit on it. He says, This is too lumpy to be a good cushion."

So Jesus pulls it out from under himself and tosses it on the floor and puts his feet on it. He says, "It's too small to be a good footstool… and it never gets cold up here, so it is no good to burn it for heat."

So he tells the angel to give it back to the man and tell him he to carry it around. It's all he's got.

Tondy, that's the way a lot of people is. That story ain't in the BIble, but it's a good one.

Tondeleo: I was going through some of my recordings of talks with Doc and ran across this short little story. It typifies Doc's sense of humor and initial aggressive attitude, which mellows if you don't overreact immediately. A lot of what Doc says is purely for effect, or because he likes to hear it said, and nobody else is saying it. Here it is:

Doc: "So the boss man is tryin' to get me an' the other boys what worked there to come in on Saturdays and Sundays cause he cain't figure out how to make enough money Monday through Friday, and that's with over charging the customers, and payin' us as little as he can get by with, and even then not payin' us every week.

He says to us on Friday afternoon, as we was pickin' up our pay, "Hey, y'all's comin' in to work tomorrow and Sunday. Everybody is."

The other guys just moaned under their breath, but I weren't comin' in. I had a lady's car to fix on Saturday, and needed to go to the laundromat on Saturday nite. Sunday morning I was helpin' my buddy pack his things up, over to the trailer park so he could move, Sunday afternoon, I was invited to a Gospel concert and picnic with free food. I ain't had no time, Tondy. So I said "I ain't comin' in. I ain't got time to work here seven days a week."

Suddenly I heard myself sayin' "Well, in the word 'time' there's a I and a ME, so I guess I am gonna have to quit to go work for ME..."

Boss Man points to a poster on his office wall. One of them ones with a picture of a eagle or a mountain and then at the bottom has a fancy sayin' so bosses can take a vantage of they's workers.

He says, "Look at that, Doc. It says, 'There is no "I" in team.' What do you think of that? It isn't about YOU it is about US. We're a team and there is no I in team.

Suddenly I heard myself sayin' "Well, in the word 'time' there's a I and a ME, so I guess I am gonna have to quit to go work for ME, if you start this workin' all the TIME stuff."

An' you know what? He let us all not HAVE to work on Saturday an' Sunday, if we already had plans. An' he asked us not to plan much for the next two weekends. He were a pretty good ol' boy after all, if you pushed him. No doubt.

I WERE kinda scared for a minute he was gonna fire me for sayin' that!

Tondeleo: This is from a conversation a few weeks ago with Doc concerning the US Government bailout of the big three U.S. Automakers. He had come up to the hotel where I was staying and he and Marilyn spent the evening watching cable TV (which they do not have in Nanjemoy) and flipping channels on the remote. Doc tuned in to a CNN story about the proposed US Government bailout of the American auto industry. He was fussing and grumbling, so I knew he was thinking and I got out my recording stick and hit "record" while he gave his analysis of the situation.

Doc: Well, Tondy, this don't sound like America to me. It sounds like Russia or Europe or somewhere else un American. In America, the idea is that if a man makes something and goes to sell it, he will either do good with it or go out of business.

If he don't do good, he OUGHT to go out of business, and if people's workin' for him, they ought to go find someone else to work for what turns out a better product. Or they could come up with their own product what is better. That's how it is supposed to work and that is why in the used-to-be, American products was pretty much the best in the world. American companies did their darndest to make the best things they could and then sell them at the best price.

Building good products and selling them at the lowest price they could was the American way. That's why a lot of cars that used to be made aint out there anymore.

They USED to be all kinds of American car companies, Tondy. I can think of Studebaker, what went out of business in the 60's, Tucker closed up in the 50's, like Willys, Crosley, Nash, Packard, La Salle, Kaiser-Frazer, Hudson, Packard and some more I caint remember the names of. Even American Motors what made Ramblers, AMX's and Jeeps went out of business and Chrysler bought Jeeps and they still aint making a good product, in my opinion, cause I do body and fender work and Jeeps is rust buckets after 10 years. Worse than any other I can think of.

But, aint no one from the Big Three went crying to the government to bail out any of them other companies! They was GLAD they closed up and figured if you caint compete, then go out of business! All them folks what worked for them companies had to go find other jobs, and some of them had to move, or move in with relatives. But GM, Ford and Chrysler din't care a hoot about that! It was just more money for them and they laughed all the way to the bank.

I say what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Them Japs can build cars what Americans want to buy, and they last good and keep their value, like American cars use to do. If Honda, Nissan and Toyota can build cars and trucks, and some of them are built here in the USA - then their aint no reason why the American companies caint do it. It aint that they caint, Tondy. It's that they won't. They has gotten fat and lazy and greedy.

Tondeleo: So, Doc, are you saying that the US Government should take over these companies and run them, or that ....

Doc: NO! Heck NO! That Federal government couldn't even run the Post Office! If they caint run a Post Office, how they gonna run three giant car companies? They'll screw it up like they done with everything else they touch. Remember they bought that AMtrak back there in the 80's or 90's and it aint never made a dime, they just keep using taxpayers money to prop it up. So I'm against them bailing out the car companies. Give that money to people what work for them - give it to the working people as they need it to help get situated. Make sure the retired folks don't lose their pensions. That's one idea and it would save money.

A better one would be toe have them taken over by and run by the people what run Honda, Toyota and Nissan. They been able to give American people good cars and trucks and keep the prices right and keep the quality up. I say let the Jap Big Three run the American Big Three and give us some better Chevy, Fords and Chryslers. I bet they could turn it around in 10 years, Tondy. Heck, even Daimler couldn't make Chrysler do good. That's why they dumped it. So, work a deal with the Japs. Make some good cars and make some money. And people would get to keep their jobs. Not the fat cats. Just the working people. Japanese eat cats.

Tondeleo: You know, Doc, some people would find it interesting that you give advice on raising kids, dating, socialising and making money, but you don't have any kids of your own that you mention and to some people, you're dead broke. How do you have any credibility?

Doc: I ain't GOT no credit ability! I pay cash for everything. Why you asking that? Don't want no credit cards. If I cain't pay for somethin' then I ain't s'posed to have it yet.

Tondeleo: No, I mean how can you know what you're talking about. That's what that means.

Doc: Yeah, I uh knew that - I was just messin' with you Tondy. But with raisin' kids, I been with plenty of folk who cain't raise kids. When it come time to raisin' Marilyn, I thought about what they done, and whatever they done, I 'cided I warn't gonna do it.

Like, if the grown ups is drinkin' and smokin' dope and doin' pills - oxy cottons is real popular out here and so is meth - then how you gonna tell the kids not to do it? An you always gonna have the drug dealers tryin' to get them started or people at school. If you want your kids good, then you gotta be good. They ain't stupid nowdays, Tondy. They can tell if their momma or daddy is drunk or high. I ain't never drunk or done drugs around Marilyn.

I ain't curse at her or use no fowl language around her an' I don't put up with it around here for the same reason. She don't like it no way herself either. She's a good girl and don't like "no-counts."

You gotta set the 'xample. That's what I tried to done, an' it made me a better man, too. You ought to do that Tondy.

Tondeleo: How about your female relationships... do you or did you set an example for Marilyn? You don't have to answer, Doc. I'm just wondering out loud.

Doc: Naw, Tondy, I aon't mind answerin'. I ain't never hung out with no trashy women; ain't like no loud mouth women. Ain't like no substance 'busers. I ain't hang out with no loud mouth men, neither. I ain't hang too tight with no men what is substance 'busers, an' I ain't never tell 'em where I live. An' if they find out, I let 'em know they ain't welcome. A substance 'buser'll steal from his own mama. I ain't havin' none of that 'round here.

You don't want to be bringin' no man or woman with problems to your house or wherever you is livin.' You ever heard of stalkers? Even women is stalkers nowdays, Tondy, an' you can't let them know where you live or expose your family to them. They can be dangerous.

Tondeleo: As you know, Doc, I have some problems in my dating life, especially in meeting nice women. I have been hurt a lot by pretty women who seemed ok at first, but then turned out to be horrible. How do you know if they are a problem? How do you know if you need to put them down?

Doc: You LISTEN!!! Tondy, that's what I been TELLIN' ya! A woman wants to be listened to. They ain't want to be pawed all over right away. If they do, they ain't no good, 'cause they know they can distract a man by showin' him all they's goodies an' lettin' him sample them. She's 'fraid he'll find out that she's mental or somethin'. You ain't want that.

You LISTEN and find out what she says about other men she has had an her kids an' her job an all that. You'll hear if she says all the men in her life are bad, or if she's complains or if everybody but her is the bad guy. Get out quick! If you don't, you are settin' yourself up to be the next bad guy and she ain't worth it. It's faster to just go home and stick a fork in your head.

Tondeleo: And, money? You talk about working and making money, but by most peoples' standards, you're poor.

Doc: Poor? I eat, got lights, got clothes, got a roof, I got a bed, I got guitars, I got tools, and I got friends. I'm healthier than most folks. I'm happy. I work. What's poor about that? I been poor. I been so poor I thought about pullin' out my teeth and puttin' them under my pillow. But I ain't poor now.

"I been so poor

I thought about pullin' out my teeth

and puttin' them

under my pillow."

Poor is mostly in the mind, Tondy. It's lookin at what you DON'T have 'stead of what you DO. You might see someone gots a big house and a lot of cars, but you ain't know they's problems. If you had their stuff, you'd have their problems.

Tondy, think of this. You can only be in one room at a time. You can only drive one car at a time. You can only get so drunk or so high. You can only know so many people. So why does a man need more than that? After more than that is just problems.

I seen a man on the TV cryin' 'bout losin' all his vestments up there on Wall Street. He still got a house a car a wife an' kids an' his health. What's he lost? Just some money. I ain't lost any my vestments. My vestments is my skills, my tools an' my guitars an' Marilyn. She's a vestment. A man's kids is a vestment. You take care of your youngin's and when you get old, they'll take care of you. I ain't poor. Just ain't got much cash on hand. But when I need it, I go out and make it, or sell something' or whatever I got to do. That's what a man does. Ain't lookin' for no handouts.

Tondeleo: A while back, I was talking with Doc about the power of the Internet and all the knew information and medical breakthroughs that are coming about through shared knowledge and research. I was trying to explain to him how in some instances each of us has a piece of the puzzle and when we share it, others can come along and add their knowledge and ultimately people get helped and lives can be saved.

I know he doesn't understand the Internet and the concepts I was passing on, but as I mentioned in the last post, something got Doc interested in sharing some of his "medical breakthroughs" with the world through the "interweb."

He brought me three drawings he did, with Marilyn's assistance on the spelling and wording. He wanted me to post them on the "interweb" and to make sure that if someone gets help from them that they know they were helped by Doc Stevens, Inventor and Body 'n Fender Man.

Here's what he says about this invention:

Doc: "Tondy what you was saying about all the bad blood out there an' AIDS an' drug addicts sellin' their blood for money got me worried. Then I was eatin' corn flakes with freeze dried strawberries in 'em an' a idea hit me BLAM! right in the head. Them straw berries might be a year old when you get 'em in your cereal bowl, but when you add milk or water like me an' Marilyn do when things is tight, you got fresh strawberries. That is cause they is freeze dried.

A person could go to the Red Cross or a hospital and get some blood drained out and freeze dried when they is healthy. They could carry it in a little packet like coffee creamer comes in, and keep it in they's wallet or purse if they is a woman. Then, when they has an accident, the doctors can just add water to they's freeze dried blood an' just like that, you have fresh blood. An' you know it'll work in that person cause it is they own blood in the first place.

I ain't never tried it personally but I bet they is a doctor out there on that Interweb what could make it work. If he does, or if she does if it is a lady, tell 'em to get ahold of you or me Tondy, cause we gave 'em the idea. Show 'em the drawing, too."

Doc: “That neighbor’s boy – ain’t a boy, he’s a man – he’s 25. But he ain’t no man cause he won’t work or support himself. No, he sleeps in the bed his mama put there for him when he was 5 years old, and he don’t know nothin’ about bein’ a man.

He ain’t stupid, as far as him not havin’ a mind. He just fills his mind with trash that don’t do him no good at all. He gets on that interweb an’ types to people he don’t even know, but he ain’t got a job. He does that for hours.

He plays them ‘puter games all night, an’ then sleeps til 2 in the afternoon. Tells me he got on a new level last night. I said a new level of stupidity? He said he killed seven ninja warriors last night an’ now he is a champion. He is a champion of his head being a garbage can with a hairy lid, that’s what he’s the champion of.

Ain’t nobody payin’ him to play those games or be on his 'puter. Told me he is takin’ over the universe. I said why don’t you work on takin’ over a car an’ takin’ over a job so yer mama don’t have to feed you an’ wipe your rear end. An’ he went inside the house an’ pouted about it.

That boy or man or whatever you call him, a male type creature but he ain’t no man, won’t go to bed so he can catch a ride with someone who goes to work every day. Two or three people goes to La Plata every day an’ go right past his house, but he’s in bed. I ain’t got no use for him. I wish his mama would put him out an’ when his stomach gets close enough to his spine, he’ll get a job. Guarantee it.

What’s he gonna do when his mama dies? Prob’ly move in with some girl he’s knocked up by then an’ mooch offa her like a big overgrown baby. An' any girl who would sleep with him is as stupid as he is – cause now you got TWO stupid grown ups an’ they will be two times as stupid as parents. If I was their kid I would commit suicide.

That’s why so many kids commit suicide, Tondy – they’s parents are not grown up themselves an’ are still actin’ like teenagers an’ wantin’ their kids to act like grownups. Not all of em, but a lot of em. I see it everyday, bunch of drunken weed heads an' crack heads an’ meth heads. An' I ain’t talkin Methodists.

I’m askin’ him why he ain’t left the nest yet. He says things cost too much. I say they ain’t cost too much, you just ain’t makin’ enough. Get out there an’ make some money, Sport, an get outta your mama’s house.

He says ain’t nobody hirin.’ He ain’t had a job more than two weeks since he got outta school, an he DOES have a diploma, just got no ambition. I ain’t got no diploma, but I got a fire in my belly to stand on my own two feet and be a man.

I tell him they’s hirin’ up at the Walmart in La Plata. But he don’t want to work at Walmart. He says he would have to leave too early an’ besides he ain’t got no car. That’s cause he won’t work a real job. An’ because he smokes reefer an’ ain’t got no drive. But they ain’t givin’ him that weed for free. He don’t say IT cost too much!

So I tell him he already SMOKED his car! Ten, twenty dollars a day worth an’ now he is sittin’ on his mama’s porch makin’ excuses. If he HAD a car he couldn’t keep it cause insurance would be too much, tags would be too much, gas would be too much an’ wherever he got a job, they would be too mean an’ he would quit. He got excuse- itis.

I ain’t no Eisenstein, Tondy, but I ain’t no ‘scusemaker. Seems to me it’s just common sense when you ain’t got nothing, an’ are broke, that you get out there an’ take any job what’s legal an’ learn a little bit, get a car, get a place to stay an stand on your own two feet like a grown up. He’s a 25 year old crybaby. A man don’t make excuses, he makes a life and helps other folk.

My daddy use to say a woman looks for a strong shoulder to cry on. A man wants to have that strong shoulder for her to cry on. He also use to say if you wait for all the lights to turn green before you head into town you ain’t never gonna get outta the house. You do what you can and you BE something so you can stand tall an’ look any man in the eye.”

Doc interrupting: No, Tondy, I didn’t QUIT. I had to stop goin’ to school so’s I could support mama and my two brothers an’ my sister. I ain’t no quitter. I had to make a choice over whether it was more important to learn math and English or be a decent human bein’ after daddy died.

Tondeleo: So you’re happy with that . . .

Doc: I’m happy to be breathin’, I’m happy to be a decent person. Plenty of people with diploma’s ain’t happy an’ they ain’t decent. I wouldn’t give a dollar for their sorry selves. They cain’t raise a kid, they cain’t stay in a marriage, they work some job they hate an’ all for what? For a society they don’t even like. An’ where’d they learn that? At SCHOOL.

They taught us history. What other people did right an’ wrong. So what? They’s dead an’ gone. They ain’t never taught us nothin’ about bein’ a decent person an standin’ on your own two feet which is why all those folks are on assistance an’ welfare an’ still hate the government. I ain’t fond of it, but I ain’t gonna take their handout an’ be dependent on ‘em. I’d rather starve first, an’ I ain’t too big on starvin’. So I learn what I gotta learn, an’ I work a couple of trades what I learned an’ I stand on my own two feet.

School don’t never teach that, Tondy. Never, unless they got some new school out there now. They teach you how to learn stuff that you ain’t never gonna use an’ they don’t teach you how to live right. I ain’t talkin’ religion, but they ain’t taught me how to stay sober. Had to learn that on my own. Didn’t teach me how to handle money when I get my hands on it. I’m still learnin’ but school ain’t taught me.”

You don’t think I done too well. I know that. But my daddy only learnt what he could so he could get outta Scott County, an’ help mama an’ us kids have a better life. He died when I was 16. He worked all the time for a little bit of nothin’ and he taught us how to work, but he ain’t taught nothin’ else, and then he died. I was lost an’ didn’t know what to do when he died, but I knew I needed to help mama and we all pulled together as a family and done the best we could. Learnt trades, and a good work ethic, and how to be decent human beings. That is a lifetime to learn that one. Still learnin'.