Doc Stevens

Tondeleo: I was reading online some of the election results in the US, and it prompted me to go back through my notes to find some of Doc’s comments on politics, policies and government. Here are some quotes that I ran across:

Doc: “It ain’t about just minding your own business and let people do what they want to do. We OUGHT to care what someone else does. You can't pee on your side of the pond without it coming into MY side of the pond.”

“Worserer than that, once people start peeing in the pond, it’s hard to get it out.That’s one thing wrong with America. We’ve had people peein’ in our pond for fifty years an’ now we want to get the government to get it out. Well, they cain’t! They was half the ones peein’ in it in the first place.”

“If you spit in the ice tea, we all got to drink it. So, YEAH, I care what you do even if you are a grown up with your own choices. You can spit in your own cup of tea, but don’t spit in the pitcher. We’re gonna go round and round if you do.”

“As for politicians. Tondy there is somethin’ special about a person what wants a job what depends on other people votin’ on him every four years. Like, he has a need to know that he is popular more than that he just did a good job. I think, get out there and do a good job at whatever you can do bein’ the best person you can, and help everybody what you can, an’ keep doin’ it even if aint nobody knows you’re doin’ it but you an’ the people you’re helpin.’”

“What we got in government right now is folks in high places what ain’t got no backbones. They know right from wrong, or they used to. But once they get elected, they get scared they won’t get re elected, so they do whatever they got to do to keep that job, whether it’s right or wrong. So we vote ‘em out ad put in another bunch to see if they’ll do any better. But what happens? Same thing! They get in office, and it goes to their heads and they forget the little man, which they USED to be!”

“I ain’t never runnin’ for no office. I gotta first be able to run my own life, even if my life is a little simple one. I’d rather do right in my own life than to be in charge of a bunch of other things and mess it up – and get corrupt like people gets when they got too much power. I’m a God fearin’ man, and don’t want to become a  people fearin’ man, which I would be if I was a politician. That ain’t no kind of life.”

“My daddy used to say he’d rather be first in charge of his own bass boat than be second in charge of a someone else’s sinking battleship. I agree with that.”

“But somebody’s got to do that job. It ain’t me. This whole mess the country is in is way too evil and too deep. Ain’t nobody gonna solve it with a tummy rub. It’s like stickin’ your head into a hornet’s nest and hopin’ you can make them like you. Ain’t gonna happen. Ain’t no President gonna make it happen, ain’t no congress and senate, ain’t no governor, either. Only God can straighten out this mess, but they made it plain they ain’t want him. So, it’s just gonna get worse. Well, worse til they can’t take no more and calls on God to help them. But I ain’t see that comin’ for a long time, Tondy, a LONG time.”

“I'm gonna write a song about it. I already sung it, but ain’t got Marilyn to write it down yet. It’s called Mr. President, you need to talk to the King.” By King, I mean God.”

Tondeleo: When I talked with Doc about global warming in the last post, he continued talking about it in some ways that actually impressed me. He is uneducated, but definitely not stupid. Most of him and his friends are the same way. They are not fully engaged with the English language, but all of them are fairly competent at being inventive, repairing broken rubbish and sometimes at seeing through the hype that our media tells us.

In the conversation about global warming, Doc talked about a programme that he and Marilyn watched over at Big Dave's house. Big Dave actually has satellite TV. There is no cable out where they live.

Doc: OK, Tondy, about this global warmin' they keep promisin' but cain't deliver. This dude on TV was cryin' about the north pole meltin' because the temperature was now 2 degrees higher than it was a few years ago. All them scientists was wringing they's hands and sayin' the north pole will melt if it stays 2 degrees hotter. Then they showed a picture of a polar bear on a ice flow an' said it was floatin' out to sea and would drown when the ice melted!

Tondeleo: Well, Doc, that IS a problem! I have seen those pictures of polar bears being carried out to sea as the ice melts. It's horrid!

Doc: Tondy, you ain't know nothin' either! Polar bears has always floated out to sea to catch fish! If the whole place was frozen they would starve! When I was in school they showed us pictures of ice flows, an' they had polar bears on 'em back then! They float out there, and look in the water for fish! Then they dive into the water and catch 'em! They has always done that! It ain't nothin' new! They got more polar bears nowdays than ever! Marilyn read that on the interweb.

Tondeleo: But there is a grave danger if the temperature goes up two degrees, you must admit...

Doc: NO! Ain't no danger. If that North Pole is minus 10 degrees and it warms up to minus 8 degrees, ain't nothin' gonna melt! Two degrees ain't mean nothin' except wherever it is always 32 degrees (f). Then if that place goes up 2 degrees stuff'll melt. But anyplace it is like 28 degrees and it goes up to 30, ain't nothin' happenin!

Every where else in the world, two degrees hotter means longer growin' seasons and that means more food and Lord knows we need more food! More food for animals and more food for people. So, I am votin' for global warmin' for it to get 2 degrees warmer and so is Marilyn.

Tondeleo: We are having the coldest weather and the most snow here in the U.K. that I can ever remember. Many of our roads are still covered with ice, because the councils don't own snow removal equipment, and we have no way of clearing the roads. Of course, we don't have any reason to buy snow removal equipment, because it would just raise the taxes so we can have snow plows sitting for years at a time, in case it ever snows like this again. We are out of salt and have had to bring in sand and grit from the beaches to try to make the motorways safe.

I telephoned Doc and Marilyn to find how they are getting on. Doc answered. I told him about our weather here, and asked about the weather there in the Washington area. He said it was COLD, and that most people can't heat their homes enough to stay warm. Then he went on a rant about global warming. Here is Part One.

Doc: OK Tondy, me an' Marilyn an' most our friends is freezin' out here. We had three weeks of rain afore all this cold weather, so we burnt up all our dry wood then. After that it turned cold an' most our wood is wet. We got kerosene heaters, but guess what they done to the price of kerosene? They jacked it up!

Listen. Kerosene aint nothin' but diesel what ain't so purified. It should be the cheapest. But no. They jacked up the price of diesel to more than premium gas (petrol) and jacked up kerosene a dollar a gallon more than diesel!

Last week, I sent my neighbor's boy up the road to get us some kerosene to at least keep the worst of the cold out. He took five gas cans and came back with only three of 'em full. He said I ain't give him enough money an' he handed me the receipt.

Guess how much it was a gallon? Kerosene was $3.99 a gallon, Tondy! Diesel was only $2.69 a gallon but the boy didn't know I could burn that, too. A dollar thirty a gallon more for kerosene than diesel! And diesel got road taxes already added into it, about a dollar ten a gallon of road tax! Kerosene ain't got no road tax, so it ought to be priced like this: Put it back to the price of diesel and then take off the price what is road taxes and that would give a fair price for kerosene which is about $1.40 a gallon.

Why is they doing this? Cause poor folks have to heat they's homes with kerosene and they know we gotta have it. Most us ain't got the credit to be buyin' it from the oil company in a truck where you get 275 gallons at a time. We can only buy it a few gallons at a time and they put it to us. Ain't right!

Now what I want to know is this: Where's all this global warming I hear so much about? We could use some of that around here and you could use some of it over there in that England. It ain't gettin' no warmer! It's gettin' colder!

The gov'ment is tryin' to keep people scared and tax us more so they can keep takin' our money an' holdin' us down. They even met over there at that Coping Hoggin' (Copenhagen) to talk about how to get all them govments together to charge people more taxes for heating they's homes and drivin' to work. I hope they all freeze they's butts off an' that everyone finds out that they's tryin' to control us an' take our money.

Global warmin' ain't happenin'. Not til Summer, anyway.

Tondeleo: Doc INSISTED that I post this blog right away. He was fuming, and called my mobile phone and told me to record his words and get them posted. It is about the Us Governments "Cash for Clunkers" programme, where they will allow you $4500 for your petrol guzzler, if you trade it in on a new car that uses less petrol. Then, the government has the dealership destroy the engine in the car that was traded in. That is what set Doc off.

Doc: Tondy - I am madder 'n' a one eyed cop in a constipation camp! Them desk jockeys up in the government is allowin' people $4500 for their old cars and pickups if they want to trade 'em in for somethin' what uses less gas.

OK. That's good for folks what gots good jobs, good credit and can afford full insurance, which I cain't. So it aint helpin the poor. No, it's helpin' the car companies what cain't seem to sell cars without Uncle Sam's help. Uncle Sam done give 'em all about a billion dollars each last spring so they wouldn't go out of business. But guess what? They took that money and then once they got it, they filed bankruptcy anyway! Within a couple of months! Where'd they put all that money? Them rich dudes took it.

Now here is what gets me. If you want to get $4500 for your old car or pickup, it's got to be on the road, tagged and insured and it's got to run good. Heck, me an' my friends is ALWAYS tryin' to keep our cars on the road, tagged and insured. That right there, aint easy for a poor man.

But here they take these cars and trucks what is RUNNIN! and is tagged and gots good tires, good exhaust on 'em, nicer than anything I have ever owned, and then guess what they do with them?

THEY RUIN 'EM TONDY! THEY KILL 'EM! THE GOVERNMENT MAKES THEM KILL THE MOTORS IN THEM!

Butch's boy Ronnie told me that. OK, a Suburban was traded in. A 92 Suburban. Newer than anyone 'round here is drivin.' It had good paint on it and he said it ran good. He wanted to buy it. But guess what? This made me cry, Tondy. They took it around back, to the garage an' they made the mechanic drain all the oil out of it, and then pour in water and sand into the crankcase! Water and SAND! And that mechanic had to run that motor and rev it up til it locked up! A perfectly good 350!

He said they has done that for EVERY car what has come in, more than 80,000 of 'em! Someone ought to go to jail for that one! A whole bunch of someone's ought to go to jail.

Here poor folks without good jobs or credit is, tryin' their best to keep something on the road, and Uncle Sam is makin' the car dealers kill perfectly good cars. That is a sin against God.

Tondeleo: Well, Doc, it keeps the dealers from turning around and selling these cars back to the public...

Doc: But POOR people needs cars! We need parts for the cars we got! How about recyclin'? They makes a big deal outta recyclin up there in DC. Here is all they need to do. When the dealer gets that car traded in as a clunker, he can write the word JUNK across the title and turn that in to the MVA. Then nobody can tag that car again. It is just salvage from then on. But at least we could get parts and could recycle them. I am broken hearted, Tondy and had to get you to put this on that innerweb so the people in cyrilspace can read it and stop this mess. Good night.

Tondeleo: Good night, Doc.

Tondeleo: I am spending my free time going through old notes and recordings of conversations with Doc and Marilyn and their friends. Some of the things that are said are not quite worthy of a post, they are just little glimpses into the minds of these rural Americans. This is one of those brief little snippets that I felt was worth passing on.

Doc has strong opinions on people being allowed to come to America to work, and on the American Independence Day, I thought it would be appropriate to post some of his thoughts on immigration and the American dream.

Doc and Marilyn had been playing music at an outdoor barbecue and pig picking outside of Herndon, VA. A barbecue is of course where the meat is cooked over an open flame, and is marinated in a tomato sauce, mixed with molasses, peppers, onions, garlic and other "secret" ingredients. Nearly every American has his or her own recipe for making barbecue sauce. A pig picking is having an entire gutted pig on a large barbecue grill, with a lid on it, and has cooked overnight. The fat is mostly cooked out of it, and the meat is tender and seems to nearly fall off the bone. The pig in its entirety is on the grill, head to tail.

While they were coming back from Herndon, the first thing in the morning after the barbecue party, they stopped at a convenience store, where there were Mexican immigrants out in the car park waiting to be hired for day labourer work.

Doc and Marilyn know what it is to struggle and to attempt to earn one's own living rather than to depend on public assistance. It is particularly difficult for Hispanic immigrants, due to not speaking English for many of them and no documentation. They get taken advantage of by their employers and feel that they have no recourse. It is very sad.

If a Hispanic immigrant does somehow find a means of getting assistance, Americans get angry. But Americans also get angry of they want to work! As Doc explains it to me, all they want is a better life for themselves and their children, just like all Americans do (except those on welfare, Dc points out).

Doc said to me, "I seen a guy with that WWJD (What Would Jesus Do?) bumper sticker on his truck down there hasslin' the Mexicans and the people what was hirin' them.

He was cursin' them, tellin' them to go back to Mexico, and hollerin' at the people what was givin' them work. And he had this WWJD bumper sticker on his truck!

I'd like to see a bumper sticker what says WWJH. Who Would Jesus Hate. I'd give that guy one of those, if I had one. Jesus aint hate nobody.

I mean Christopher Columbus was a Mexican, well he was a Spaniard, immigrant without no papers. He was just like the rest of us. He had a dream and came to America and it wasn't even called that yet, but he came over to find his dream.

Most the people what's hatin' the Mexicans, their people was immigrants, too, and aint had no papers. So where do they get off just because Mexicans want the same thing?

As long as there is a place where a person can be free to work all he wants and to raise his children to have a better life, people is going to come there to try to make a better life. It really aint right for the first bunch to come over here for all them years without permission, without papers or nothing, and then say "ain't no one else allowed in!"

I say we ought to round up all the Americans what's on welfare and won't work, and what is sellin' drugs to their friends and neighbors, and send them to Mexico. Except guess what? Mexico don't want them!

Tondeleo: This is from a conversation a few weeks ago with Doc concerning the US Government bailout of the big three U.S. Automakers. He had come up to the hotel where I was staying and he and Marilyn spent the evening watching cable TV (which they do not have in Nanjemoy) and flipping channels on the remote. Doc tuned in to a CNN story about the proposed US Government bailout of the American auto industry. He was fussing and grumbling, so I knew he was thinking and I got out my recording stick and hit "record" while he gave his analysis of the situation.

Doc: Well, Tondy, this don't sound like America to me. It sounds like Russia or Europe or somewhere else un American. In America, the idea is that if a man makes something and goes to sell it, he will either do good with it or go out of business.

If he don't do good, he OUGHT to go out of business, and if people's workin' for him, they ought to go find someone else to work for what turns out a better product. Or they could come up with their own product what is better. That's how it is supposed to work and that is why in the used-to-be, American products was pretty much the best in the world. American companies did their darndest to make the best things they could and then sell them at the best price.

Building good products and selling them at the lowest price they could was the American way. That's why a lot of cars that used to be made aint out there anymore.

They USED to be all kinds of American car companies, Tondy. I can think of Studebaker, what went out of business in the 60's, Tucker closed up in the 50's, like Willys, Crosley, Nash, Packard, La Salle, Kaiser-Frazer, Hudson, Packard and some more I caint remember the names of. Even American Motors what made Ramblers, AMX's and Jeeps went out of business and Chrysler bought Jeeps and they still aint making a good product, in my opinion, cause I do body and fender work and Jeeps is rust buckets after 10 years. Worse than any other I can think of.

But, aint no one from the Big Three went crying to the government to bail out any of them other companies! They was GLAD they closed up and figured if you caint compete, then go out of business! All them folks what worked for them companies had to go find other jobs, and some of them had to move, or move in with relatives. But GM, Ford and Chrysler din't care a hoot about that! It was just more money for them and they laughed all the way to the bank.

I say what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Them Japs can build cars what Americans want to buy, and they last good and keep their value, like American cars use to do. If Honda, Nissan and Toyota can build cars and trucks, and some of them are built here in the USA - then their aint no reason why the American companies caint do it. It aint that they caint, Tondy. It's that they won't. They has gotten fat and lazy and greedy.

Tondeleo: So, Doc, are you saying that the US Government should take over these companies and run them, or that ....

Doc: NO! Heck NO! That Federal government couldn't even run the Post Office! If they caint run a Post Office, how they gonna run three giant car companies? They'll screw it up like they done with everything else they touch. Remember they bought that AMtrak back there in the 80's or 90's and it aint never made a dime, they just keep using taxpayers money to prop it up. So I'm against them bailing out the car companies. Give that money to people what work for them - give it to the working people as they need it to help get situated. Make sure the retired folks don't lose their pensions. That's one idea and it would save money.

A better one would be toe have them taken over by and run by the people what run Honda, Toyota and Nissan. They been able to give American people good cars and trucks and keep the prices right and keep the quality up. I say let the Jap Big Three run the American Big Three and give us some better Chevy, Fords and Chryslers. I bet they could turn it around in 10 years, Tondy. Heck, even Daimler couldn't make Chrysler do good. That's why they dumped it. So, work a deal with the Japs. Make some good cars and make some money. And people would get to keep their jobs. Not the fat cats. Just the working people. Japanese eat cats.

Tondeleo: The other night I was in the Washington area and drove to the backwoods of Nanjemoy, MD to visit Doc and Marilyn. They had been at Bruce's house watching the presidential debates on Bruce's satellite TV ("It shoots them pictures all the way from America to outer space and back to a tv set, Tondy"). Doc and Bruce were educating Marilyn on how it has all changed in America the last several years. Every now and then I would try to correct them, and of course, I was wrong because I am not American. Fortunately I had my recording stick to catch Doc's summary of American Government and how it works. Here are some pertinent excerpts.

Doc: Tondy, you ain't no American so you don't understand what they is doin' up there in the government. See, America was found on the idea that the people give rights to the government. The government don't give rights to the people. I learnt that in 8th grade.

Here's how America is put together. It was God on top, then the people and then the government. The government is s'posed to answer to the people, not the other way around. That's why they's called public servants.

When the government tries to take the place of God, we got problems. In all them other countries, the government is in the place of God an' everyone loses.

We learnt in 8th grade one nation under God. They could talk about God back then in school. The people is in the middle and the government on bottom is why we have free speech. The government can't tell no American what he can say or not say. We have freedom of the press which means we can write what we want and the government cain't stop us.

Freedom of religion is the same thing. They cain't tell us to have religion or not, and we don't want no government to join up with religion. Nope, you let 'em in an' they'll take over an' make the church part of the government. That's what they did in England what set the people off an' I don't blame them. The government's job ain't to tell us when and where we can worship the Lord.

They's other rights. Like to own a gun, not just for huntin but to protect your property an family. Cops cain't get there on time, so a man or woman has to protect they's own selfs and then the cops get there and do the paperwork. You also need a gun to keep the government from getting out of control like it did in England afore they came to America. People what caint protect themselves will be victims of government.

They's more rights, too but I can't remember 'em all.

They don't give us freedoms, the Lord does and then we give some power to the government.

Here's another thing about America. I count on this one and so do you. Well I do, you cain't cause you ain't no American. They cain't throw a American in jail. Even the president cain't put you in jail. To put a American in jail, you got to bring up twelve people like him or like her if it's a woman American, and only if everyone of them says the person is guilty can they be put in jail. If you don't agree with that, then you can appeal and ask for a new trial. And they don't try the PERSON, Tondy, they tries the EVIDENCE. Evidence don't lie, people do. If the evidence aint there, nobody's going to jail. It is important to put an American in jail.

Here's the last thing I can remember about the government. Has to do with presidents. He can only be there for four years, and if he does a good job, another four but that's it. He needs to go. That way he cain't mess us up too bad. Look at what George Bush done and then thank God the president aint serving 6 years at a time.

If the President is wrong and breaks the law, the American people can peach him. Throw him out and let the vice president finish out. That's the way it was set up for over here Tondy, not like England where you come from, but we are getting worse and worse.

The government wants to say the Lord don't exist, so they can be on top over the people and become what's it dictators? But not that, just controlling the people and takin' everything the people earn and spending it how they want, which is why they used to teach us that Russia was so bad. It was a atheist country where the government is in the place of the Lord. America is trying to do that, and it will go broke just like Russia did. That's your history lesson, Tondy. But it aint like that in America anymore.