Doc Stevens

Tondeleo: As you know from reading previous posts, I am impressed with the creativity of the rural Americans who have little money, but the same needs and desires as others. 

The lack of money causes them to come up with ideas and knowledge that most of us never tap into. 

A perfect example of this is the tandem axle lorry - truck - that Marilyn found online when visiting the library and printed out for Doc and emailed to me for this post and for me to use as a reference when interviewing Doc about it. 
So, Doc, tell what you can about this interesting vehicle. I have never seen one quite like it...


 Doc: Well, Tondy, this is one more work of genius by a unsung hero. Marilyn printed this one out for me so I could just sit and look at it and get inspired.

Tondeleo: And what exactly is it, Doc? I have never seen anything like it.

Doc: OK, well, it's a custom Chevy Astro pick up that was made by a guy named Jim Cramer, up there in Michigan. I ain't never been up to there, but I can tell they have at least one genius up there. He probally is broke, but is rich in ideas.

He made this work of art by taking two Chevy Astro vans, and cutting them up and putting them together so he has a custom extended cab pick up that he can put big loads on, and probally get about 20 miles to the gallon when it's not too loaded. Plus, it's the only one in the world like it.

Totally custom! Who else has a custom Chevy Astro six wheeled pick up? Maybe no one! But if they did, it wouldn't look like James'!

Tondeleo: Can you tell how he did it by looking at the pictures?

Doc: Sure. But I never woulda thought of it myself. He took the blue one and on the right side cut it off about two thirds the length of the sliding door. He used the sliding door from the maroon one. Maybe it was better than the blue sliding door. Or maybe the blue sliding door was his practice run. He kept the blue back fender. on both sides. He used the maroon front fender on the passenger side, too. Probally the blue one was messed up.

You can see that the blue one at least was a window van, 'cause you  can see on the picture taken from the rear that it has seat racks in the floor. He cut that floor off as far back as possible, and then used 2" angle to extend the length about 32 inches or so. He woulda then used the floor from the maroon one to fill in where he lengthened it.

Look at the back of the cab, Tondy! Genius! He took the back corners and maybe 6 or so inches of roof, and the back doors, which he cut 3 or 4 inches off the bottoms of, and used that to make the back of the cab! Easy, and smart. Now, for the side back windows, I don't know where they woulda come from. Maybe from a fiber glass camper top. That's where I woulda got them. He mighta done something else.

Look at how he added the back wheel opening and the rest of the back end, to stretch it so he has a good length for hauling a load. Looks like he can get about eight feet in there. The front set of back wheels would still be the drive wheels, so he didn't have to do nothing there. The second set of back wheels would just be hooked to the same rear from the maroon one, but not hooked to a drive shaft. that's called a tag axle, well, that's what I call it. Probally the right name is something else.

And last... he put on six pimp wheels! Now where in the world did he find four of them, let alone SIX of them pimp rims? Only a genius coulda found six of those pimp rims. Only a genius. Jim Cramer, I salute you.

Tondeleo: As you know, I get fascinated with the resourcefulness of people who have a desire, some skills and not the money they need to get what they want. They overcome their obstacles through sheer determination. Doc and his friends are able to make almost anything our of almost nothing. I admire that and wish I had the creativity and the skills that they have.

Only recently, I realized that while they are very creative and can make almost anything, they have their own heroes and people whose skills they aspire to. Doc showed me a couple of pictures of homemade guitars that he thinks of as works of genius.

To him, a "work of genius" may not be something that is beautiful, but is something that serves a specific purpose and reveals the heart and soul of it's maker. He has some pictures of some things that to me are just plain ugly, until he points out all the details of why the maker is a genius.

Doc: Look at this, Tondy. This is a guitar made from an old MGB. That's a car from your country! I didn't even know that Brits made guitars from old cars and garbage like we do. That's really cool, Tondy!
 Marilyn found this on the interweb and got it to me.  

It's a work of genius. I don't know who made it, but he's a good body and fender man - and a genius. I'm a body and fender man so I can spot someone who's good at it and this guy is good.

His welds are clean, and he's got the top of it arched out just like it was a wooden guitar. I like how he's got metal wrapped around the headstock up top, too. It just ties it all in together.

He's only got 17 frets on the neck, but he's got room for at least 3 more. I bet he ran out of fret wire and will finish the neck when he gets some more money together. 

I just wish I could play that thing. My guitars look like they were made by a cave man compared to these. I mean mine sound real good, but they ain't even in the same ballpark as these.

Tondeleo: That really is a nice guitar, Doc. I must confess that I've never seen one of those before. It may have been made in England. Or in America, where they might not appreciate the value of a fine old English sports car. That car would be at least 25 years old! it probably was a classic sitting in someone's barn who didn't even know what he had!

Doc: Well, he knew he had something that you couldn't play music on. That would be enough for me if I had one of them Brit cars and the idea to make a guitar out of it.

Look at this other one, Tondy. It's made from a Volvo! That is a good use for an old Volvo. If you can't drive it, play it. I like this one better than the MG one. It just looks like something I would like to make. I might make one of those. I ain't got no Volvo's around here, but there's plenty of junk cars out back, and I could make something like that out of one of them.

Look how he put a fork on the trapeze that holds the strings. I'd like one like that. I'd make a fork on it and a spoon, too. I'd put magnets on 'em so I could take them off when we play at places what has a lot of food. That's what I'd do.

I already started makin' a guitar out of metal, 'cause these pictures inspired me. Mine is a flat top one and I got the top and sides done. I gotta get the neck supports done. It ain't gonna be as nice as these cause I ain't that good. 

It's gonna be a steel guitar, Tondy. you know why? Because it's made outta steel! I'm gonna probally finish it over the winter. Then I'll trade it for something. I don't know.

If a Brit made it, maybe you can ask around and find out who it is.

Tondeleo: I will, Doc. Since he MAY be from England , I am sure that I would know him.

Doc: Well, you MIGHT. You never know til you ask.

Tondeleo: OK, I admit it. I'm not much for working on cars, getting dirty or racing or any of that. I don't like loud noise unless it is loud music. But I DO like learning, and I like helping people and I like having fun.

Doc took me over to his friend's house early on Saturday morning, to work on a race car of sorts. His friend is like Doc, in that he doesn't have any real money, but he likes to create and make things, and make the best of a bad situation. Pat's house has a metal garage out front that's almost as big as his house, and there are a lot of cars and pick up trucks, in various stages of being dismantled, repaired or stripped out to be sold for scrap metal.

Out in front of the garage was a rather torn up Mitsubishi. The  windscreen was broken, the headlights were clouded over and useless, and it was dented up. I couldn't see any potential in it whatsoever. Doc informed me that I was looking at a future race car. I could not believe it.

Doc: Tondy, racin' ain't always about big money. The kind YOU are thinkin' of is big money. But we aint got that. So what are we gonna do... not race?

No, we're gonna do the best we can. Like with this car, someone gave it to Pat because it had problems. Dented up, busted windshield, bad lights and some other issues. The AC don't blow cold. I don't know all the issues, Tondy, but it was bad. But it DOES run ok. Trans and rear aren't bad.  Now, it's worth about $10 per hundred pounds as scrap metal. Pat's gonna turn that  car into scrap metal, and get a couple hundred bucks for it.

But first, he's gonna have some fun with it, racin' it on the dirt track at Potomac Speedway. He's gonna finish bustin the glass out, strip out the interior, pu;; the door handles off and a bunch of other stuff. The trunk [boot] lid and doors will have to be chained shut for safety. He'll have to put hood [bonnet] pins on it to make sure it doesn't fly open. He'll take off the exhaust - the cadillac inverter's  [catalytic convertor] worth a few bucks. He'll save that for cashing in on later.

Pat's got a bunch of old roll bars and pipe from other junk cars what he raced, so he's gonna weld in whatever roll cages they say he's gotta have. I don't know about that, but he does, and when he's done with the car, he'll pull it all back out again for the next one. They been in and out of more cars than I don't know what, Tondy! They's all rusty, but looks don't make it go any faster.

Him and his boy James is gonna take it to the dirt track an' drive it til it won't drive no more! They'll have just as much fun as them boys what spend thousands of dollars to drive on the same track! It ain't NASCAR, but it ain't bad. He'll still be mashin' down hard on the gas an' turnin' left, over and over again!

His wife and daughter will be out there cheering him on, his friends and cousins will be there. He'll have a couple of them working the pit crew. Everybody's gonna have a good time, and it really aint costin' them nothing much.It's a lot of fun and it's good for a family to do stuff together like that.

And guess what? When him or his boy have raced the mess out of it, he'll yank out the battery and the radiator, and sell that car for scrap, and get just as much out of it as he would if he hadn't raced it and torn it up. That $200 bucks or whatever he gets will help him pay some bills and will leave a little money for the next junk car him and his boy want to race. Plus it's good father-son stuff to do."

Doc and I spent the whole morning and into the late afternoon and evening working on the car with Pat and James. I don't do much, but I handed them tools when they asked for it and brought them sandwiches that his wife made. I sprayed the rims silver. Doc put the lettering on and used a brush to write some other names on it, and some details that were added at the last minute.

I confess that I was proud to have my picture taken standing with the car. I had been breaking the windscreen out of it when Pat's wife wanted to take my picture. You can see that the windscreen is half in and half gone. That's my handiwork! I would have never gotten this opportunity in England,  and it makes for a good memory and a good story to tell my mates when I get home.

 These last few posts have been about the creativity that comes to the surface when a person has the same desires as other people, but not the resources to fulfill them. 

For example, it's natural for a person to want to stand out, to be noticed, to appear to be successful and confident. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the car or truck that one is driving. 

You may be broke, living on SSI, social security, disability, welfare and any other government entitlements that you qualify for - but that won't get you the kind of money you need to express yourself adequately. After buying groceries, cigarettes, paying the rent, the light bill and phone bill, there just isn't enough to set yourself apart from the crowd. that is, not if you don't draw upon your  inner genius for some inspired ideas.

 
Here's a car that you would see at Scott's Store in McConchie, MD, just east of Nanjemoy. It was cheap to buy, and all it needed was some love and inspiration to make it into a real head turner. 

Doc pointed out all the refinements to me, so I could appreciate it and you could learn from it. This is like a poor man's Pimp My Ride episode. Here goes:

Doc: Ok, Tondy, this car's all about customizing on a working man's budget. Look at that gold grille. $1.50 can of spray paint from Dollar General and a $2.50 roll of masking tape. 

That hood scoop came off a 70's Corvette that was wrecked on the front end. But the scoop was still good. Bein' fiberglas all you need is a saber saw to cut it off the Corvette hood so you can put it on the Caddy hood. You're lookin' at about an hour total, with cuttin' it out, sprayin' it flat black, and screwin' it on with drywall screws.He prob'ly got it gave to him,

 so all he had was a buck and a half of black paint and a handful of drywall screws. But he's changed the whole look of the front of that car! I don't know where he got them rainguards on the windows. He probally had to buy those brand new. I aon't know what they cost, but they add to it. 

Look at the rims, Tondy! Well, wheel covers, really. They ain't match but they set that car off! You can pick those up off the side of the road for free. People pay about $30 for a set at the Wal Mart, and then they fall off when you hit a bump! The trick with them is to use screws to hold 'em on. That's one trick. Or you can use zip ties, around two spokes and through the holes in the rim. 

What I do is get a set of trim rings, and pop rivet the wheel covers to them. You ain't never see trim rings on the side of the road, cause they got grippers all the way around. You can get those at a junk yard for $20 a set. I go head and buy wheel covers new at the Wal Mart or the Pep Boys when I need 'em. I did that for Marilyn's car.

Now, look at that back end job! Five antennas! He aint got no CB in it, but they just dress it up and set it apart. You get them antennas for a couple bucks at yard sales. Aint too many people got CB's in they cars anymore, so they aint want the antennas. Out of five antennas he got three different kinds! You gotta work with what you got, Tondy!

Then, you set it all off with the two American flags!  That'll make people sit up and take notice. He'll probally catch a good lookin' woman with that rig!

Them old Caddies always had a problem with the plastic around the tail lights breakin' up as they got older. You can't find them in good shape anymore, so you got to do what you got to do. He used that shiny silver tape what's made for fixin' mufflers. It looks better than the broken plastic, and really catches the light good. 

Last is some bumper stickers and magnetics to show what you believe in and how you feel about things. That way if a woman sees that car and thinks she might be interested in you, she can read the back of it and see if you're her kind of fella or not. If she likes what you're about, then she'll find some excuse to hang around your car til you come out, and she'll start talkin' to you. It's a good start, anyway.

Look at that thing, Tondy! Look at all that glory! Flags wavin' in the breeze, the wheels reflectin' the sun, the silver tape on the back end... If that don't catch your eye going down the road, you just ain't lookin! 

I couldn't help but agree. Seriously.
 

Doc: Tondy, those people at that party was first class. Like I told you, I was gonna park my poor old truck back in the back after we got it unloaded, but the man whose house it was came out and told me I could park it right out there in the same line as the nice cars and hot rods that was bein’ shown off there.

I could not believe it! There was all kinds of cars that you could tell was big money. All of ‘em was well built, and looked good inside an’ out. Shiny rims, good chrome, and motors that you could eat off of, if they didn’t mind you getting’ a little ketchup or barbecue sauce on ‘em. But my Chevy Panel truck looks like somebody already got ketchup and barbecue sauce on it. Well, somebody DID get ketchup and barbecue sauce on it.

They was a silver ‘53 Studebaker, and a couple ‘48 Chevys what sat right on the ground. A ‘36 or ‘37 Chevy, a 55 or ‘56 Plymouth, a 32 Ford… I can’t remember them all. But they was all beautiful.And had good paint on ‘em too!

But they let me sit it out there just the same! And the other guys what had nice cars came over and talked to me about it, just like I was their equal!

One guy even could tell I need a new radiator! He could tell just by lookin’! That radiator what is in it is from about 1955, and is getting’ green on it here and there. That’s how he said he could tell. He said I need a ‘luminum one and it would run more than $500! Well, guess who AIN’T gonna be able to get a new ‘luminum radiator? I’ll give you one guess, and his name is none other than Doc Stevens!

Tondeleo: The conversation about using deer hair as insurance led into another one relating to auto insurance, this one which was a clumsy attempt at insurance fraud by one of Doc and Big Dave’s friends.

Doc: Yeah, Tondy, here’s one for you. A few years ago, Porky Burch got drunk and wrecked his pickup into a tree. He had insurance on it, which surprised me. It was a new truck, at least new for what it was. Probably maybe five years old, It was worth puttin’ insurance on, if you had the money. But anyway, Porky was drunk and didn’t want the cops in on it. I didn’t know all that at the time.

Anyways, he walked over to Duncan Williams’ house, we call him Dunk, and gets Dunk to run him over here. It was about three in the mornin’ at that time. Porky asks me to come and drag his car over here and sit it behind my shop till he could get it fixed.

So I get out my loggin’ chains and we ride over there in my panel truck and we drug it back onto the road, and Marilyn sat behind the wheel to steer it, cause Porky was still drunk, and we drug it home and set it behind my shop. No problem.

Well, he came by and took his stereo and speakers out of it. Then it sat back there for a couple months and one night Porky and Dunk came by. They’d been drinkin’ and said they was takin’ Porky’s truck. They had Dunk’s father-in-law’s truck and a chain. I asked about how come he weren’t getting’ me to fix it and he said he WAS, but he had to take it somewhere first.

Well, what they did was, they towed it about ten miles on that chain, and then pushed it up against a tree, like it had just wrecked into the tree. Porky also put a guitar what he had broke one time when he was drunk and mad, and he put it in the passenger seat, like it had got broke in the accident.

Then, they went to Scott’s Store and used the pay phone out front to call the Sheriff, to report it stolen! Porky said he’d been in Scott’s all evenin’ and when he came out, his truck was gone! He was drunk, but he weren’t drivin’ so the cops let him alone on that one.

He told the cops what it looked like, Tondy, and they started lookin’ for it. About two hours later, one of ‘em found it, smashed into that tree!

Now, Porky figured he’d be able to get some ‘surance money out of it, and then they could bring it to my shop and get me to fix it for about half what he got paid for it! I didn’t know that at the time neither.

But guess what?

Tondeleo: What?

Doc: The cops called a tow truck. Tow truck driver pulled it back from the tree. Then they looked inside, and the keys was in it! Not Porky’s WHOLE key ring, cause he needed his other keys, just his truck keys! His keys were in the ignition, Tondy!

And the radio was missin’, but taken out real neat! And his guitar was in its case in the front seat! The case weren’t tore up! Just the guitar in it was broke up!

Worser than that, where the paint had gotten knocked off when he wrecked it a couple months before, was all rusted! And worser than that, the tree where they had pushed it into, wasn’t even scarred up or hurt! They had just pushed it up against the tree!

The cops figured out right quick what happened.

They went to Porky’s house to tell him they found his truck. Of course, Porky had drunk another couple of beers, thinkin’ about all that insurance money he was gonna get.

All they said was, “Mr. Burch, we found your truck…”

Old Porky’s first words to the cops was, “Did they wreck it real bad? I hope they ain’t stole my radio, it was worth a thousand bucks, which it weren’t, he’d got it on sale at the Wal-Mart. And then he kept sayin’ “How about my guitar? Was it broke up real bad?” and stuff like that.

The cops said it looked like it’s been wrecked a good long time, and that there was no skid marks, no damage to the tree or the guitar case, and whoever took the radio did a real careful job on it.

Porky kept sayin’ it had just been stole, and what was they gonna do to get him his insurance money for his truck, his radio and his guitar and was they gonna get him a rent a car.

Then the cops talked about lockin’ him up for lyin’ and filin a false report and a bunch of other stuff. Dunk said Porky just hung his head and cried like a baby!

I know he got charged with somethin’ on that one. He had to go to court. And he never got the money to fix it, neither! It sat back there in his back yard for a couple years. I ain’t never fixed it. He traded it for a old 4 by 4 that was a piece of junk, but it run good. Now that’s crazy ain’t it? Drinkin’ don’t pay. Not in the long run.

Tondeleo: I am never certain when to take seriously the things said by Americans. They have an inherent love of taking the mickey out of you, and just about the time you are believing them, they begin to laugh and you feel a right fool.

Big Dave showed me a small plastic bag filled with stiff brown and white hairs, clearly from an animal. He asked if I knew what they were for, and I said that I didn’t.

Here is how the conversation developed:

Big Dave: Tondy, this is a bag of insurance.

Me: A bag of WHAT?

Big Dave: A bag of insurance. You carry it in your car or truck, Tondy.

Me: Well, it resembles a bag of bristles, of hairs, Big Dave.

Big Dave: To the untrained eye, that is exactly what it is. But to the expert eye, it is a bag of insurance. Here, look at it up close.

Marilyn: It’s a bag of DEER HAIR, Tondy!

Big Dave: It IS deer hair in its lowest form. Insurance in its highest.

Say, if a man has had a few beers, and ends up runnin’ off the road into a tree. If the cops come by, he’s gonna be in trouble. If he gots insurance, they ain’t gonna pay. BUT! If he kicks a part of his car, say the front fender, real hard, and then spits in the bag deer hairs, they become insurance!

Me: Insurance?

Doc: Yeah, Tondy, insurance.

Big Dave: You spit into the bag of deer hairs, then you take ‘em in your hand and smear a few in the dent you made by kickin’ your fender. Put a couple of ‘em in your headlight rim.

Then you, well, that man what hit the tree, can say that a deer run into his truck, and he hit it, and ran off the road and into that tree. That’s a lot better to a cop or a insurance company than you just havin’ a couple of beers and hittin’ that tree.

Doc: I ain’t never did that, but I heard of people what done it. Lotta people carry a little packet of deer hair in they car or truck. Say it’s good luck.

I fixed plenty of peoples’ cars what had dents on ‘em and deer hair in the dents. A deer can tear up a car real bad. A deer hittin’ your car is bad luck.

Big Dave: But deer HAIR is GOOD luck if a man runs off the road. He sprinkles them deer hair on the dent and it brings good luck, Tondy!

Marilyn: Yes, but it ain’t right.

Doc: That’s why I ain’t never done it, Marilyn. I only hit real deers.

Big Dave: And I pull some hairs off ‘em for good luck. But I ain’t never did it neither. Just heard about it bein’ done by crooks. It ain’t right.

Tondeleo: I know next to nothing about cars. I like them, but of course, Americans seem to LOVE them. To me, a car is a luxury and a means of getting from point A to point B. In America, a car is an extension of the owner’s personality, a status symbol, a means of self expression and more.

Someone sent Doc a link to a Corvette/ 39 Dodge that had been joined together and made into a “rat rod.” To me it is horrid and disgusting. It was for sale on Ebay this past week and got a lot of attention and comments. He also had some strong feelings about it. He had Marilyn forward the email to me, and that prompted me to ring him up.

Doc: Tondy, did you see what that guy done? He cut off the front of a perfectly good 39 Dodge pick up and stuck it on the front of a Corvette! Why would a man waste a pick up truck like that?

Do you think that Dodge front end is happy with a Corvette stuck on his hindparts? No!

Tondeleo: I DID see it, Doc, and it is a monstrosity… I don’t know why he did it.

Doc: Well it’s some guy down to Alabama and them guys is southern boys what generally know how to build hot rods. This ain’t really a rat rod, neither.

Tondeleo: I must confess, Doc, that I don’t fully understand what a rat rod is; I’m clueless about all that, aren’t I?

Doc: OK, a rat rod is a hot rod what you made outta what you have sittin’ around the garage or out in the field. It ain’t meant to be crazy. It is just the way a poor man has to build a car cause he ain’t got enough money to do it like a rich man. He uses what he’s got sittin’ around. This ain’t that.

OK, he mighta had a Dodge pickup out in the field. He coulda fixed that up and made a hot rod out of it. He mighta had a wrecked Corvette in his garage. But here is something you don’t do, Tondy. You don’t mix Mopars with Chevies and Fords. You can put a chevy motor in a ford or Mopar, but you don’t mix the bodies. It ain’t right.

Tondeleo: I hear what you’re saying, Doc, but I don’t understand why it’s ok to mismatch some things but not others. What is a Mopar?

Doc: A Mopar is a Chrysler product. Plymouth, Dodge, Chrysler. They’s Mopars. And you don’t mix ‘em with Fords or Chevies and you don’t mix Fords and Chevies with each other cause they are competition to each other. So,it just ain’t right. Dodge gets Mopar. Ford gets Ford and Chevy gets Chevy.

I can tell you more about this one why it ain’t right. The nose of the grill is higher than the bottom of the windshield  [windscreen] on the Corvette. It should line up, so you could put a hood [bonnet] on it. It has to line up.

Also, the stylin’ is too different. The Corvette flows and is smooth. The old Dodge is round and fat. They don’t go. Like a woman with a big old head like a pot roast, and then a pretty body and at the end, some big old feet like a man. You wouldn’t do that. She got to flow.

And the back end don’t haul nothin’. It’s a Chevy pickup tail gate screwed to the back. It just don’t go together, in my book. And he stuck deer’s antlers in it! What for? It aint really a rat rod, it’s somethin’ else what I don’t know a name for. Big Dave said it is like a scoop of ice cream on an out house. It just don’t go.

Tondeleo: What would you have done, Doc, if you had a wrecked Corvette and an old Dodge pick up truck like that? That bloke may have been like you, without much money and two vehicles that weren’t drivable. Maybe it IS a rat rod…

Doc: Well, ok, he mighta been broke. I know how that is. Maybe it was the best he coulda done. But I can tell he knew how to make things, and cut metal and put it together.

I wouldda taken that Corvette motor, trans and rear out of that Vette and put it in the Dodge pickup. I woulda used the front part of the frame of the Corvette, and welded it to the Dodge frame. I’d cut that off in front of the cab and join it up. You just gotta make some plates for hookin’ up the rear into it. Ain’t nothing too hard. And it woulda gone together. People do that kinda thing all the time. Then I coulda had a fast pick up truck what looks right and would handle like a Corvette.

The inside of that Vette weren’t no good, and he put road signs in it for an interior which looks worser than  plywood what he coulda painted black, if the inside of the Vette was that bad. This was worser than that.

Anyway, Tondy, that’s just what I woulda done. But I ain’t him. With cars, a man can do what he wants to do to express himself, and that is what this guy done. He might not like what I’m doin’ to my old panel truck, but that is why they make strawberry, chocolate and vanilla.

Tondeleo: Strawberry, chocolate and vanilla WHAT?

Doc: Ice cream.