Tondeleo: Doc, you probably haven't heard, but California has voted to make it so gays can't get married anymore there. What do you think about that? I KNOW you must have some thoughts on it. Come on and tell us.
Doc: Tondy, first off, these ain't pot plants. They's weeds. But, I know when you're jerkin' my chain and when you talk about homo's wantin' to get married you figure you already know what I'm gonna say and you're tryin' to get a rise outta me, but you ain't gonna do it.
But here's what I think. I got a sister down Kingsport and she's shackin' up with a guy she ain't married to an' she and he don't wanna get married. They been together 'bout three years and she's been married twice already. So that's one thing. They aint gays. And they don't wanna get married. That' something to think about ain't it?"
You got straight folks, that's the name for folks what ain't gay, an' they just want to live together and not get married. People used to cry the blues over that one. But now you got homo's, both men and women ones, what you say want to get married. That's a new one out here, at least to me!
Homer Rathwell's boy, I think he's a gay. I ain't never asked him, but you can sort of tell. He ain't sissy like YOU, Tondy, but that's because you're a Brit and a office boy. He's American and he hangs with girls, always has but don't never date none of them. Every now and then he'll bring some sissy looking boy over for a sleepover and you can hear 'em giggling back there if you're visitin' Homer.
Now what if he wanted to marry one of them boys what he might be having gay sex with? Well, Tondy (laughing) that'd be the end of the sex - if they got married!
But I ain't care WHO he has sex with as long as it aint me an' as long as I don't have to hear about it. That's between him and the Lord. From what I hear, though, the Lord don't go for it at all.Ain't never did. But them folks ain't exactly carin' what the Lord wants and don't want. They care about what THEY want, so totin' out the Bible ain't gonna make none of them change their ways what don't want to.
Tondeleo: Doc, a lot of people think that gay marriage and homosexuality in general is a threat to straight marriage. I bet you have some thoughts about that, too!
Doc: Tondy, you're a piece of work. Gay marriage ain't never threatened none of my friends' marriages! And I ain't never been tempted to kiss a man! There's too many women out there for a man to go after another man. 'Cept in prison but I aint talkin' about that. Aint no one want to go to prison no way, and it is all about the punishment, aint it. I try to stay away from them places.
Naw, I think the biggest threat to marriage ain't gays, it's cheatin'. Cheatin' an drinkin' too much and drugs. They's a big threat to marriage, if one or both is smokin too much reefer or smokin' rock. Spendin' too much money'll threaten a marriage, too. Lot's of folk break up over one of 'em spendin' too much money. But, Tondy, cheatin' an adultery's the biggest threat to marriage, in my book. There, an' you aint got a rise outta me.
