Tondeleo: Doc, tell me some more about self defense. The idea of taking care of myself is important, because the world is getting worse, and I am small, like 8 stone (115 pounds, US).
Doc: You know I ain't recommendin' nobody gettin' into a fight. But, if someone is set on fightin' you, you got to remember you ain’t helpless. I wouldn't recommend you carry a knife into a bar. I recommend that you stay outta bars. Always someone in a bar who got somethin' to prove. More 'n that, if you gotta a record and get into a scuffle, you will go to jail for that.
My pockets usually got something I could use, like I said earlier.
Sometimes I would have one of my dog's collars with me. Just rolled up and stuck in a coat pocket. You can roll that around our wrist if you like to protect your hands.
You could carry a biker’s wallet or a trucker’s wallet with a dog’s choker chain on it. You can use it as a choker. You can unloose it off the wallet, wrap it around your wrist and swing it in his face and THEN choke him enough he passes out.
Then you got to hightail it out of there before he comes to, or before the cops come. Don’t stand around like you’re a hero or a hard guy. I can tell you in one word what you gotta do as soon as he is knocked out, or on the ground: GET OUT!
But that ain’t you. That chain wallet ain’t you. It don’t suit your style, Tondy. You look more like a office boy.
So you’re eating out in a sit down restaurant, or a bar. What do you have there? Salt shakers, pepper sauce, maybe a glass candle you can jam in his face, silverware. All that’s just at your table.
You got wooden stools or wooden chairs. Use them like a lion tamer to protect yourself and your girlfriend. Grab it, by the seat and the back, and jab him with the legs, then throw it at him and get the heck out of there.
"He ain’t patty cakin’ you, he wants to hurt you or kill you."
What else you got in a restaurant or bar? You got the bar, or the counter, and the back wall of the booth. Grab him and jam his face down on it, while kneeing him in the butt, and stomping on the back of his leg, at the back of his knee. Bring him to the ground and then disable him.
How about a bench, if you’re out front. Drag him over there and jam his head onto it. Bust his face into a tree trunk if you’re outside.
Grab a free real estate magazine or Auto Trader on your way in. They have them right at the entryway at a lot of places. Free weapons. Roll it tight as you can. Really tight. Now, it is a good jabber!
Grab it so maybe two inches sticks out the side of your hand where your pinky is. Stick it in his eye. Jam it up the bottom of his nose, or up under his chin. Hit his [solar plexus], jam it into the bottom of his groin, up under his privates. Jam it into his ears. Jam it into the side of his neck, about 3 inches under his ears. ALWAYS hit as hard as you can. You have to remove the threat. He ain’t patty cakin’ you, he wants to hurt you or kill you. You need to stay alive, long enough to get you and your girl out of there. That’s all for right now.
