I know from some of your stories that you don’t seem to be afraid of anybody and I remember the stories about you getting arrested for fighting in North Carolina, or Memphis and some other places... Tennessee or somewhere...”
Doc: “Yeah, a coupla places for fightin'. That one time in in Tennessee, it weren’t my fault. I weren;t fightin. I was protectin a guy what was bein' picked on. The other fella was mouthing off an’ then he slapped that little fella an’ I told him to back off an’ he came after me. So I hurt him an’ then the cops came an’ locked me up cause I wasn’t local. That’s all.
But a man needs to learn how to stay away from fights. That comes with some age and maybe with getting a record or bein' on parole or probation. Different things for different folks.
Tondeleo: You’ve mentioned how you can use almost anything for a weapon and that you don’t ever carry weapons, you make them on the spot...
Doc: Yeah, right, but it’s more to it than that. First off, if you been locked up before, an’ the cops come, you’re gonna get locked up if you’re carryin’ a weapon. Ain’t no arguing that. You’re goin’ to jail even if you ain’t did nothing.
They’ll detain you if they think you look suspicious an’ then they search you an’ find an ice pick or piece of chain or a knife on you. You’re finished. Guilty as charged, take me away. You gotta be careful ‘cause they will say you was out lookin’ for trouble, when all you wanted was a night out.
First off, Tondy, you want to stay OUT of fights. You don’t know who that other dude is. He might be carryin' a razor, or a gun. He might tazer you. He maybe just got out of jail and want to kill someone. Do what you can to get out of the situation. I’d better be embarrassed and be alive than be a big man and be crippled up or dead. Get up and leave.
Tondeleo: “But what if he blocks your way, or molests your date, or shoves you first?”
Doc: Well, you have to come up with your own weapons that ain’t really weapons. My wallet with a chain on it is a good example of a weapon what ain't no weapon. I might carry a thick sock in my coat pocket an’ a pool ball or somethin’ like that in my other pocket. If a fight is breakin’ out, I can put that pool ball in the toe of that sock an’ hit someone upside the head with it. Bam. He’s down, an’ I just had that sock cause I lost the other one at the laundromat!
You can use a drawstring marble bag, with a bunch of change in it for the same thing. Or put it in the toe of that sock for gettin’ leverage. You can protect yourself with a dollar’s worth of change in a marble bag, and a sock.
A roll of quarters is a good weapon in your pocket. Wrap your hand around it when you punch. I would say to punch with the BACK of your left hand, up against the left side of the head of the guy what’s causing problems, and follow up with a right up under his jaw while you move forward and knee him in the groin.
"Don’t never think you can break a beer bottle and hit him with it. It will break off in your hand and cut you. That only works on TV. Not in a real fight."
One of them bicycle locks with a cable or chain on it is a cheap weapon you can’t get in trouble for having. But you sling it into someone’s head, they’ll know it. You can get one of them for less than five bucks and it’s legal anywhere.
If I’m in a place an’ I feel something’s going down, I get me a cup of hot coffee. I can throw it in someone’s face an’ then jam the rim of the cup into his face. You don’t slap someone with a glass or mug. It’ll break an’ cut your hand. No, you grab the bottom of it and jam it into his face. Leaves a red ring on his face and breaks his nose, so you can get out of there. Always, try to not get in a fight and just do enough to get out of there and get lost. You can use a beer mug or heavy glass the same way.
Don’t never think you can break a beer bottle and hit him with it. It will break off in your hand and cut you. That only works on TV. Not in a real fight.
Tondy, you can use the salt and pepper shakers. Screw off the lid and throw the salt or pepper in his eyes, and then use the shaker in your hand so you can punch him and not hurt your knuckles. You can use it wrapped in your fist to hit him on top of the head, too.
Hot sauce works the same way. Swing the bottle with the lid off, into his eyes and then close your fist around it, and you can jab, hit his nose with the bottom of it, jam the little tip of it into his belly right here [solar plexus] or into his privates.
If you’re holding a can of beer or soda, you can take one last drink of it, while he’s running his mouth, an’ as you bring it down from your mouth, crush it, and then swing hard into his face. It will cut him a happy face. But you got to follow through.
Tondeleo: “Ouch! That would hurt!”
Doc: Well, of COURSE it’ll hurt, Tondy! It ain’t patty cake. A man’s tryin’ to hurt you. He is a snake and there ain't no shortage of snakes. If he will fight you, he will kill you. You have to make him so he cain’t hurt anyone.
You can tear up a man with a belt, if you wrap the end with the holes in it around your wrist and then cross it across you hand, and back around your wrist. You can put that on camera, Tondy. Makes the belt short so it can’t hit you in your own head, an’ with it wrapped, you won’t drop it an’ aint no one gonna take it away from you and beat you with it. You can knock a man down with the belt buckle, if you hit him upside the head. I wear a thick belt I got at Dollar General and it has a good sized buckle. That’s why I got it.
Always try to knock him down. Get him on the floor. Then you can stomp his, what’s that called... his groin, yeah, that’s it, an’ he won’t get up. You can grab his wrist and yank it up an’ stomp your foot into his armpit. It’ll jerk it out of the socket an’ he’ll walk around with his arm all limp and he won’t be hittin’ anyone for a while.
Don’t forget you can kick him in the privates as hard as you can. And you still gotta keep whaling on him. You don’t just hit a man and then stop to see what you done. It aint kinny garten stuff. No.
You hit and keep hitting. You kick, you stomp. Bite a man if you have to. Here’s how you bite a man. You don’t take a bunch of meat and muscle into your teeth. You just take skin. He might have his arm around your neck like he’s chokin’ you. You lower your head just enough to sink your teeth into the skin on his fore arm, and you bite and pull it off. It’ll look like a wet potato chip. That’s what hurts, not biting into the muscle. Your jaws ain’t strong enough. But you can pull off a patch of skin. Or off his neck. That works, too.
What they gonna do: outlaw teeth?
