Tondeleo: In the UK, we don't have the equivalent of the big American backwoods hillbilly. We don't have any backwoods, to be quite honest, and there are no places where groups of people can live unscathed from most of modern society.
That is one thing that fascinates me about rural Americans. Some of them can live geographically near a large city and cultural center, yet be completely uninformed and unaware. Worse than that, they are uninformed that they are unaware.
One can tell this when looking at the clothing,the hair styles and interactions amongst them. There are still many rural Americans who wear their hair (and have their children wearing their hair) in the spiked "mullet" hairstyle of the mid 80's. And they think it is perfectly in style. Of course, in all fairness, in their circles, the mullet hairstyle IS in style, and probably will remain in style for the next 50 years or more.
The same evening that we (myself, Doc, Marilyn and Big Dave) were trying to muddle through an understanding of "you are what you eat," (see previous post), the conversation drifted as it does quite commonly, to dating, relationships and understanding the sexes.
I am always intrigued by both the insights, which many times are shrewdly wise, and help me to understand why these backwoods people are able to proliferate at the rates that they do, and also some of the information that to me is just weird.
After the evening meal,
Big Dave was giving Marilyn counsel on how to find a decent man. He allowed how Marilyn's big problem isn't finding a man, it is finding one that she can respect and look up to: One that is clean and sober, gainfully employed, who is not already married, not an inmate, pervert, lazy or out of control.
Marilyn wants a clean living church man... and she doesn't want one that is ignorant. She has quite a list of traits that she will not accept in a man. She says, "I have kept myself on the straight and narrow and I want a man who's done the same thing."
Big Dave said that the only one who would be fit for Marilyn already came through, but they crucified him, so she'd better learn to settle. Marilyn said she "ain't settlin'" and would rather be alone with the Lord than to be with a man who "weren't any good."
Then, Marilyn said she thought Big Dave was too backwoods to get a decent woman. She didn't see how on earth a woman could kiss a man with a big thick beard like his. Without blinking an eye, Big Dave said "a woman don't mind going through a little brush to get to a picnic." Marilyn said, “Yuck,” and then Big Dave said that the first course on a picnic with him is a obstacle course. But, of course he is worth it. And their "aint no ants at my picnics, 'cause I spray down."
Marilyn started shrieking, Doc busted out laughing, and the dogs started barking at all the excitement, and I was too busy laughing and being grossed out to follow the rest of the conversation. But, as Doc says, "there ya go."
